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In 2012 a Possessed Couch Told Me To Murder My Friends

Part 1, Part 2
As I walked through the IKEA showroom I felt distressed. I wanted to sit down, I needed to sit down, but all of the couches around me looked like they would cause me severe back pain. They were lit up with fancy lights and smelled faintly of disinfectant, the whole showroom felt like the world’s fanciest hospital. I desperately searched among the rows for something that would make me comfortable, but my search seemed hopeless. I walked around aimlessly, until, as if by divine intervention, I noticed a maintenance room in the corner of the showroom.
As I opened the door a cloud of smoke escaped the abyss that hid beyond. The darkness before me beckoned, ‘Come here Tiger,’ it whispered. I walked into the hallway. The door behind me closed.
As I journeyed through the corridor the smoke grew more intense, but so did my certainty that I would find what I was looking for. At first it was only my footsteps that echoed through the darkness, but as I walked on I could hear a far off radio playing. A familiar song by the Stones grew louder as I approached a room at the end of the hall. Yet the music was soon joined by sobs. Someone was crying.
A fluorescent light bulb crackled in and out of life, yet it was strong enough to illuminate the small room. A dark haired man in a worker’s uniform sat by the edge of a familiar couch as he finished off stitching the last bits of its flowery upholstery. He wept as he pulled out the thread and needle. His face was caked in grime, but the tears created two clear lines down his cheeks. When he saw me he wiped away his tears and got up. The man composed himself, lit a cigarette and walked over to me. He gave the couch one last look, but it wasn’t a look of sorrow, it was a look of pride. The man looked back at the couch as if he had just walked his daughter down the isle. Then he motioned towards it. ‘Come here Tiger, I’ve been waiting for you,’ the couch growled with sex in its tone.
I stepped towards the couch. The electricity in the air was back and stronger than before. ‘I can make your wildest dreams come true Tiger. I can make you believe in a heaven. All you have to do is fuck me.’
I reached out for the couch, all of my nerve endings tingled with anticipation. I was millimeters away from nirvana. The universe had its gaze set on me and was about to reveal all of its secrets but then-
My hand started to shake. It was gentle at first but soon the convulsions spread through my arm. Within moments I was down on the floor, my body throwing itself from side to side uncontrollably. The light bulb grew bright with a deafening scream. The world was crumbling at its axis. POP! The room was plunged into darkness.
“James? James, wake up,” Karl’s shadow stood above me. It was early morning; the room was still dim with dawn. Karl held two cigarettes in his hands, “We should go have a cigarette, friend.”
I was horribly dazed; his words didn’t make a lick of sense. The only thing that seemed understandable was the voice in the back of my head, ‘Don’t listen to him Tiger, he wants to take me away from you. Don’t let him get between our love.’ I stirred on the couch. My fingers were deep in the upholstery. “I don’t feel like smoking right now Karl.”
Karl didn’t move. “James, we have to take the couch outside. It doesn’t belong in this house anymore. You and me should also have a cigarette, we need to talk.”
‘He wants to hurt me Tiger, don’t let him hurt me, do something. He has to be stopped.’ I yawned and tried to look as sleepy as possible but Karl’s eyes stayed on me. “Mind if I nap for like fifteen more minutes?” I asked.
“James,” he started. His voice was cold, “We need to take the couch outside. We need to talk.”
I waited for the voice in my head to tell me what to do but it fell quiet. I was abandoned. “Okay, fine, no better way to start a morning than a bit of furniture moving and a smoke.” I lumbered off of the couch, put on my pants and reached for one end of the couch.
“What’s wrong with your hand?” Karl asked. I looked down. My fingers were covered in a thick layer of red, as if I had spent the whole night eating Cheetos. They were also bloated; my nails looked comically small nestled in between thick puffs of red flesh.
I waited for the couch to tell me what to do, but it still kept quiet. “I dunno, spent a good amount of time outside without gloves,” I finally said. Karl looked over at my other hand, my perfectly normal hand that didn’t spend the night inside of the couch, but he didn’t say anything. We carried the couch outside in silence.
It was oddly warm outside. There were still small piles of snow spread through the yard but the neighborhood looked more like a muddy war zone rather than a winter wonderland. The couch remained silent until we dropped it off in the middle of the backyard. ‘There’s a knife in the kitchen, Tiger,’ it whispered.
Karl lit up his cigarette and offered me the lighter. “I forgot my coat, give me a sec,” I said. I walked back into the apartment to fetch it. I went past the kitchen.
When I walked out of the apartment Karl was standing far off from the couch. He didn’t register me walking out; his attention was purely focused on the mysterious furniture. Something was going on behind those small eyes of his. My bloated hand was shoved deep into the coat of my pocket. ‘You know what to do Tiger,’ the voice whispered, ‘He wants to take me away from you, but you can stop him. Be my hero Tiger, be my hero and I will bring you incomprehensible pleasure.’ I walked towards Karl. I was shaking. “Want to sit?” I finally asked, dragging his attention away from the couch.
Karl motioned towards the lawn chair, “You can sit if you want to.” He lit up my cigarette. ‘One clean cut Tiger, he won’t see it coming, one clean cut through his throat.’ I didn’t sit. Karl’s eyes drifted back towards the couch. “There is something wrong with that couch James,” he started.
“I was nervous yesterday. Maarja’s parents have always been very critical of me. They think I am strange. Whenever I meet them they talk to me like I have escaped from a mental asylum, like there is something wrong with me. But yesterday was different James. Yesterday they made an effort. Maarja’s mother complimented me on my tie and her father was willing to look in my eyes while we talked. During lunch he asked me about my financial plans. I told him about Bitcoin,” Karl smiled, “Maarja’s father became very excited. He heard about crypto-currency from his coworkers, but he did not understand it. I explained it to him. He was so impressed that he asked to see how everything works. He invited himself over to our apartment. Things were going well. I saw him smile. I thought things would continue going well.” Karl paused, his eyes drifted back to the couch. “Things did not go well.”
“When we arrived at the apartment Maarja and her mom stayed outside for a cigarette. I went inside with Maarja’s father to show him the computer rig. He has heard enough about crypto to know that it is going to lift off. I wanted him to see that in a couple of years I would be able to provide for a family. I wanted to ask him if he would… You know…” Karl’s voice dropped to a whisper, “Let me marry his daughter.” He took another puff and shook his head, “But we didn’t get past the living room.”
“As soon as he saw the couch he stopped. He stood there, frozen, looking at the furniture. I tried talking to him but it was as if he didn’t hear me. For almost a minute he stared at the couch and then he jumped on it and started…” Karl trailed off; he looked back at the couch. An expression of utter disbelief danced around his face but he struck it down. Karl looked square into my eyes, “Maarja’s father jumped on the couch and started to hump it.”
Even through the numbness of my fingers I could feel the pointed edge of the kitchen knife. ‘Do it Tiger, do it for me. Don’t let him tell you his lies. Kill the freak. One clean cut. The loud whore inside is still asleep; she’ll be easier to get rid of. Do it Tiger, do it so we can be together forever.’ I cleared my throat, “Humping?” I asked?
“Humping,” Karl replied, “He humped the couch with all his energy. I tried to get him to stop but he wouldn’t listen to a word I said. He just kept on pressing himself against the couch like it was some long lost lover. I left when he started to take off his pants.
“I went outside to get Maarja and her mom. I told them something was wrong with Maarja’s dad and that they needed to come inside right away. At first they didn’t understand, they kept on asking questions. Could they not finish their cigarettes? What was specifically wrong? Why was I so panicked? They were oblivious, but as soon as I mentioned the couch. James, as soon as I mentioned the couch something sparked in Maarja’s mom’s eyes. She ran inside of the apartment, cigarette still in her hand and dragged him out.
“Remember how angry she was when she caught you and Saale the night after the party? Remember how we would joke about how crazy she was about the couch? James, the anger I saw yesterday was nothing compared to that. Maarja’s mother was furious. She slapped and hit Maarja’s dad until he was out of the apartment. She threatened him with divorce. She kicked and punched the man and then locked the door on him so he couldn’t come back.
“She said that Maarja’s dad was obsessed with the couch when they started dating, that the scars on his face are from rubbing against the cushioning. The only way that Maarja’s mom and her grandma managed to get her dad back to normal was by hiding the couch while he went out to do his military service. After he came back he kept on searching for it, he kept on demanding that the couch be returned, but over the years he gave up. That’s why Maarja’s mom wanted us to burn the couch when she saw it. That’s why she demands we burn it now.
“There’s something wrong with that couch James. I sat on it last night while you and Maarja were talking outside. There is something horribly rotten about that couch. As I sat there I could feel it probing in my brain, trying to grab onto something, it was as if the couch was trying to find pain that it could use; pain that it could feed off of. We have to burn it.”
‘SLIT HIS THROAT!’ The voice boomed in my head, ‘SLIT HIS THROAT AND THEN SLIT HER THROAT AND THEN COME TO ME!’ I could feel my arm getting ready. I could already see the blood streaming through his beard. I kept on trying to remind myself that Karl is my friend, that I didn’t want to hurt him, but every fiber of my being was being dragged towards murder. I took a step back. “Can… Can we burn it after New Years?”
“Are you okay?” Karl’s face suddenly turned concerned, “You look pale James.” I took another step backward. ‘A SINGLE SLICE TIGER, HE WON’T SEE IT COMING.’
“I…” my legs turned to jelly, I leaned up against the wall. I wanted to take my hand off the knife, I desperately wanted to be as far away from a weapon as I could be, but my hands refused. Murder jumbled my mind, images of death and pleasure and the couch filled my vision. “I don’t think I’m okay.”
Karl took a step forward. He planted his hand on my shoulder. ‘JUST DO IT YOU COWARD, JUST DO IT! DON’T LET HIM GET IN THE WAY OF OUR LOVE!’ He sighed, “Is this about Saale?”
“Yes,” I found myself saying, “The couch smells like her. I… I’m such a mess Karl. I don’t know how to get over this. I just want to be back. I want to be in high-school again and I want the four of us to be together again and I want to drink every night and…” I realized I was crying again. ‘Coward,’ the voice whispered.
Karl looked at me, visibly feeling awkward. His brow furrowed as he tried to figure out what to say. “We can still drink every night,” he finally said, offering up a weak smile. I couldn’t even manage a smile back. He frowned and thought for a bit more before he spoke again. “James, life is sometimes bad and sometimes it is good. Things will not change, Saale will not come back, but if you wait long enough things will get better. You will forget, you will feel better. I am not good with words, but I am good with waiting. Me and Maarja will wait with you until you are better.”
My hand slipped out of my pocket. It was empty. “Thank you Karl,” I said. ‘You’re a coward,’ the voice reminded me. The pieces started to fall together. The voice, the rat, the dreams, Maarja’s dad; there was something wrong with that couch. It needed to go. Yet there was still a part of me that couldn’t handle seeing it burn. I needed time to prepare. “You’re right about the couch. There’s something off about it but… Could we wait until after midnight to burn it?”
Karl studied me. “Why?”
“It’s silly, I know, but I think getting rid of the place where me and Saale had our first night would be a good start to the New Year, like a way to let things go.” Karl considered this idea for a bit and then nodded. It felt like a burden was lifted.
Maarja joined us outside after a couple of minutes with coffee. The warmth of the cup felt soothing on my irritated skin. Being with the two of them felt soothing to my irritated soul. Suddenly things started to brighten. Saale and me would never be back together, hell, maybe I would never see her again, and that thought stung but while I was in the company of Karl and Maarja it felt manageable. We set up plans for the rest of the day; by the looks of it our last day of 2012 would be filled with walks through old places, kebabs and booze. We sat down in the kitchen for some pre-drinking.
I put the knife where it belonged when no one was looking. The time that it had spent in my pocket felt like a fever dream. Anything related to the couch felt like a distant memory. The whole morning the voice had been silent, as if it had just satiated itself with calling me a coward and decided to abandon me. I returned the favor; even though it was right outside of the window I didn’t look at the couch a single time the entire morning. It was dead to me. In fact, I started to doubt whether it was ever alive to begin with.
Yet as we headed out to town I couldn’t help myself. I looked back at the couch. It stood defiantly in the middle of the backyard, snow and mud all around it. This was not the same dusty couch Karl and me had dragged out of the garage. It was comfy looking, clean, even sleek. As Karl and Maarja walked on I could see the upholstery rumple into a wink. ‘We’re not done Tiger,’ the voice faintly whispered in my mind, ‘Not by a long shot.’ I ignored it and went out with my friends.
We traced through our high-school drinking holes. Tallinn’s nightlife was always shifting around. Waiters and bartenders from Australia would sit at home, save up their money and run into the Baltics to buy a bar. The bar would be a financial trash fire and in under a year they would go broke. Yet the money that the expats blew on their dreams burnt bright, the names and owners of the bars might have changed but the memories that we made within those walls stayed. We went through the shisha bar where I would always celebrate my birthdays, the Karaoke place where Karl blew all of our minds, the hole-in-the-wall where our band had its first gig. We hoped from memory to memory until we ended up in the grand melting pot: Hellhunt park.
By day Hellhunt was a pub with a park terrace. By night Hellhunt was a pub with an adjoining noise complaint. As soon as the terrace closed down teens from every corner of the city would crowd the benches of the park and drink. Even though most of our drinking began at Maarja’s place we would often stumble through here. Hellhunt was the place where our social circle would stretch.
“They will be closing it down soon,” Karl said, looking at the mingling crowd of underage drunks. “Neighbors are complaining about the noise.”
“Screw the neighbors!” Maarja drunkenly yelled at the windows. She was outpacing both of us, it wasn’t even ten o’clock and she was already drunk enough to forget the whole night. “If you don’t like the noise just come outside! Come drink with us!” Maarja yelled her offer to the windows. No one paid attention to her. Yelling was a regular occurrence in Hellhunt.
Maarja stumbled her way over to the bench where Karl and me were sitting and collapsed between us. “You guys hear about Tinder?” That night was the drunkest I had ever seen her.
“Tinder?” I asked.
“It is an application for your phone where you choose strangers to have sex with,” Karl said.
Maarja scoffed so hard she fell on my shoulder. “It’s a love app! It’s where strangers, strangers like James here, find love! What an exciting time to be single, you’re just given a list of people and you go ‘Beep! Boop!’ Next thing you know you’re married!” Maarja lifted her head. She looked in my eyes as an air of utter seriousness and rum drifted off her, “But I swear to god James, if you get married before me I’ll slit your throat.” She burst out into a stream of giggles, managing to spill her drink in the process. “Whoops! Looks like momma needs more jet-fuel.” Maarja staggered up to her feet and started falling down in the direction of the pub.
Karl got up and managed to catch her before she fell over, “I will come with you. James? You want anything?” I still had half a plastic cup of vodka sprite. The two lovebirds went into the pub and left me alone with the crowd.
I started to think about that Tinder thing that Maarja was talking about. Maybe she was right, maybe it was a good time to be single. I was in the country with the highest models per capita, I was a foreigner, I haven’t been in a serious relationship for six months. There was something about having two breakdowns in the past two days that flooded the obsession out of me. I started searching the crowd for someone I would have swiped right on. That’s when I saw her.
She was standing at the edge of a circle of people. Some dude with dreadlocks was telling some story and she was listening. Her hazel eyes drifted around. They caught mine. For a split second we held each other’s gaze. Then Saale broke into a sprint. I ran after her.
The Old Town of Tallinn is a lot less beautiful when you sprint through it. You can’t appreciate the medieval buildings when you’re in a mad dash, the cobbled streets definitely don’t help either. I ran after Saale as the city turned into a blur around me. My head spun as I ran past the buildings; old school field trips, karaoke, drunken trips to McDonalds, all those thoughts rumbled about. Yet above all of them there was one solitary thought that reigned supreme; I had to catch Saale. She ran with comical intensity, bumping into drunken crowds as she tried to get away from. It was as if an animal was chasing her. Seeing that panic in her face whenever she looked behind to see if I was gaining on her started to crack something in me. We ran out from the old town towards the two big malls. Crossing the road Saale nearly got hit by a tram. Something in me broke. I stopped.
The absurdity of it all hit me at once. I was literally chasing her. She didn’t want to talk to me. She wouldn’t talk to me. For a couple minutes I stood still, letting the celebrating crowds walk past me like I was a lamppost. I was wavering between rage and despair. I chose the latter and trudged my way back to Hellhunt.
Karl and Maarja were still sitting on the same bench. He was nursing another beer whilst Maarja was chugging on water insisting that she is just getting hydrated to do more drinking later on. It wasn’t rare to lose your friends at Hellhunt for thirty minutes; they didn’t ask where I disappeared to. They could tell something was off though. I tried to act cool, pretend that everything was fine but it wasn’t. I couldn’t stay there. I needed to go back to Maarja’s and just be alone.
“What? You can’t leaveeee! It’s New Years eveee!” Maarja groaned, she kept on touching my face as if that would put me in a more festive mood.
“Do you want us to come home too? I am sure we can see the fireworks from the back yard,” Karl finally said, “I think Maarja might benefit from lying down.” Maarja protested. She was basically sober after all.
“No I think I need to be alone right now.”
Karl studied me for a bit but finally nodded. “We will be back after the fireworks. There are some games on my computer if you get bored.” I appreciated the sentiment but I wasn’t in a mood for videogames.
Karl gave me the keys and I made my way back to Maarja’s place. I moved past the crowds heading towards the center. I prayed I wouldn’t bump into Saale again.
I rushed past the couch sitting in the backyard. I know couches don’t have eyes but I knew it was watching me. It was silently waiting for me to slip.
There was a half drank bottle of moonshine on the living room floor from our pre-drinking. Just like any nineteen-year-old European boy the prospect of booze to dull my sadness leaped out at me. I tried to wash out the sting of rejection with the alcohol and for a while it helped, it dulled the pain, but the drunker I got the more my eyes started to slide towards the window. The couch just sat out there in the backyard, mud all around it, awaiting execution.
‘I told you we weren’t done’ it whispered, ‘Come outside Tiger.’
I took another pull of moonshine. I realized I needed a cigarette.
-MJL
(Final part)
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Full overview of Eth 2.0 & 1.x roadmaps from Messari

Full section on Messari's Ethereum trends for 2020 here

ETH 2.0 Research/Governance/Roadmap at a glance

If history is any guide, we’re not going to see ETH 2.0 until 2022 at the earliest, even if the earliest phases of “Serenity” begin getting pushed in mid-2020. ETH 2.0’s rollout breaks down into seven (7!!!) phases and brings with it the promise of staking, sharding, a new virtual machine, and more dancing badgers.
(One of our analysts, Wilson Withiam, put together an excellent overview of both the ETH 2.0 and ETH 1.x roadmaps for this report. They are critical to track and understand at a high-level given how much Ethereum’s performance will affect other competitive projects and most of the DeFi and Web 3 infrastructure. So these next two sections are longer and more technical.)
Here’s what you need to know about the current game plan for crypto’s largest platform.
Phase 0 marks the launch of the “beacon chain”, which will serve as the backbone for a new blockchain. The beacon chain will manage network validators (large early stakers like ConsenSys) and ultimately assign validators to individual shards (slicing the new blockchain into smaller chunks is a key, difficult, controversial scaling decision that’s been made). The new chain will support Ethereum’s new proof-of-stake consensus mechanism, and offer inflation rewards with new ETH2 for those that pony up and lock 32 ETH1 tokens into an irreversible contract. That one way bridge into the new system is also contentious, but it means ETH1 supply will start getting “effectively burned” once token holder begin claiming beacon chain validator slots. Initial reports claimed Jan. 3 as a realistic launch date (lol). It will be amazing to see this launched by end of June.
Phase 1 will introduce 64 individual shard chains (reduced from 1,024!!!) to the network, with the option to increase the total down the road as the design gets tested. The Ethereum elite see sharding as the “key to future scalability” as shards can parallelize transaction processing, something that could improve network performance and reduce individual validator’s costs (good for decentralization). It comes with big risk: this is still theoretical. No network the size of Ethereum has successfully sharded its blockchain. In Phase 1, shard chains will only contain simple data sets (no smart contracts or transaction executions) to test the system’s structure. As with Phase 0, the beacon chain will continue to run in parallel with ETH 1.x throughout the phase. Don’t expect Phase 1 anytime before 2021.
Phase 2 marks the full launch of the ETH2 chain, allowing for on-chain contract execution and introducing the new eWASM virtual machine (dubbed EVM 2.0). At this point, existing dApps can start migrating their contracts from ETH 1.x to a specific shard (one shard per contract) in the new network. Storage rent, charging contract owners for storing data on the network (more on this below), is in the cards as well, which would require mass contract rewrites. Even though Phase 2 intends to replace the original Ethereum blockchain entirely, ETH 1.x may still live on as a shard within ETH2. (How confused are you by now? See why bitcoin will still dominate the macro narrative for a while?) A late 2021 release for Phase 2 is optimistic. Before the end of 2022 would be a win.
The final four phases are less defined, and without an attached timeline:
Phase 3 implements state-minimized clients (because stateless clients are just too much). Phase 4 allows for cross-shard transactions. Phase 5 improves network security and the availability of data proofs. Phase 6 introduces meta-shards, as in “shards within shards within shards,” for near-infinite scaling. If you’re scratching your head and are sadistic enough to read more, the Sharding Wiki page does note, “this may be difficult.”
Scaling and compilation efficiencies aside, the most notable change in Ethereum’s metamorphosis is the transition from proof-of-work to proof-of-stake. PoW is the more battle tested security model for blockchain networks, while PoS may prove to be more efficient but with new and less obvious attack vectors. For the more technical, we recommend reading Bison Trails’ Viktor Bunin on the subject of PoS security threats.
Past research has also shown PoS requires an extra layer of “trust” vs. PoW, to help nodes sync to the network. Most models share specific characteristics to address this trust issue, such as allowing for a dynamic set of validators (rotate your security), promoting token holder participation in consensus, and assessing steep penalties (slashing) for any network participant that violates the protocol guidelines. ETH 2.0 will function similarly, but may be able to learn from other PoS networks (and their R&D) as well as those come live and see real world issues. As Vitalik points out, recent research in PoS resulted in “great theoretical progress,” But...
Listen, we're talking about practice. Not a game. Not a game. Not a game. We're talking about practice. Not a game….Practice? We're talking about practice, man? We're talking about practice. We're talking about practice. We ain't talking about the game. We're talking about practice, man.
Vitalik was eight when this happened, so the clip might help and prove metaphoric.

2 ETH 1.x Research/Governance/Roadmap at a glance.

Ok, one more. Bear with us. Let’s reiterate, ETH 2.0 is a brand new blockchain. It’s going to be a chaotic and high-risk transition. In the meantime, the existing network needs to run existing applications (particularly financial settlements for DeFi transactions). More critical upgrades are needed in the current system.
To that end, ETH 1.x devs have three goals to boost performance and reduce blockchain bloat: (1) introduce client optimizations that increase transaction capacity; (2) cap disk space requirements and prune old, memory-sucking data (so running a node is less expensive and more decentralized); and (3) upgrade the EVM to eWASM, a newer open standard for code compilers that simplifies debugging, and is also used by all the newer smart contract platforms. ETH 1.x developers have decided to split the major tasks amongst four working groups:

Core developers intend to introduce most of these implementations through a series of hard forks, the latest of which activated just over a week ago (Istanbul, Dec. 7). However, Istanbul’s second phase, tentatively scheduled for Q2 next year, has Ethereans at each other’s throats. The controversy boils down to the fork’s inclusion of ProgPoW, an ASIC-resistant hashing algorithm designed to replace Ethereum’s current algo. ProgPoW aims to even the playing field for GPU miners and ward off the entrance of potential ASIC competitors. The miners like that. But many miners and investors see ProgPoW as a threat to their investments. For miners, the change would shift the power dynamic away from mining farms and render expensive, specialized mining hardware useless. Ethereum (and ERC-20) investors intent on securing their assets might balk because ASIC miners typically prop up hash rates (overall chain security) and their costs “naturally create a price-floor for ASK prices of miners’ sell-orders.”
This saga is far from over. The infighting will likely continue leading up to ProgPoW’s activation date mid-next year, and presents the strongest potential for a network split since “The DAO” fork that spawned Ethereum Classic. The looming transition to ETH 2.0 (and proof-of-stake) will likely deter investor pushback, because it’s a short-term battle in a war the miners are ultimately going to lose, anyway.
Unless the roadmap changes back to supporting a hybrid PoW/PoS system, of course, but... Oh my god, I’m just kidding. This section is mercifully over.
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Predictions for 2020

Predictions: 2020
The USMC will adopt Lululemon PT uniforms.
The new trend in flash mob performances will be speed metal rock and mosh pits.
“Duck face” will be required on all passport photos.
Amtrak will open new lines and reinvent itself using popular themes. All northern lines will Polar Express trains. All southern routes will be Chattanooga Choo-Choo trains. All West Coast trains will be called Orient Express. And all other lines will be called Thomas the Tank Engine routes and will include animatronic faces on the fronts of all trains that can answer passenger questions. “This is the reality of operating in Fantasyland today,” will say the Director of the Amtrak Board.

UsToo, #ThemToo and #YouToo will be the new viral social media phenomena.

TRUMP will open on Broadway.
Taylor Swift will be named Democratic Party candidate for POTUS.
Armed teachers will proliferate in rural counties and school districts across the US. So will tactical shooting schools and courses, for teachers and students. Many school districts will open and manage their own shooting ranges. Shooting teams, rifle, pistol and shotgun, precision and tactical, will become the hot new sports in rural schools.
Personal bubbles will become hot new products and services. They will sell by the millions. These will be actual bubbles that people wear when they leave the sanctuary of their homes. They will come in various sizes, colors, and several ballistic and acoustic ratings. They will offer defense not only from bullets and knives, but also from antagonistic ideas, annoying co-workers, troubling truths and mean parents.
Fortnite will unveil a “permanent residence” option, including sustenance, hygiene and employment options, allowing for users to never have to leave the game.
Robots will replace nurses in nursing homes. A majority of residents will claim the robots are better than their “biofamilies.”
The American Baptist Association will re-issue warnings to all faithful to be careful during sex, lest dancing spontaneously happen.
LeBron James will hold a press conference and ask all NBA fans, “How the hell did I become the old man of basketball?” To which Michael Jordan will tweet, “Dude…”
Trump will announce that each US citizen will be issued a firearm of their choice, any make, caliber or model, but with the stipulation that participants must prove that they do not already own any firearms. “We’re not adding to anyone’s collection,” Trump will say at a White House press conference. “We just need more good guys and good gals out there with the tools to engage the bad guys.” “Oh, fuck me,” most law enforcement officers will say to each other.
Tactical body armor with roll over the fashion industry like a ceramic plate typhoon.
Pete Buttigieg and Tulsi Gabbard will be seen leaving a hotel room early one morning after a Democratic Party debate, leading to all sorts of media questions and speculations, and to calls by the Gay and Lesbian Legitimacy Board for investigations.
The American Psychiatric Association will announce that anxiety is actually a treatment for depression.
A report from the Coalition of Conservative Scientists will claim that all existing species of animals, and also some plants, engage in rape, and so did the dinosaurs, and thus it is part of the natural order. “So, get over it.”
Scientific American, Science News and National Geographic will all publish editorials, in response, claiming that the same can be said of homosexual behavior, documented in hundreds of other animals species, in nature. “So, you first.”
Greenland will become the new Florida.
Florida will become the new Atlantis.
Gondoleer will become a hot new job opportunity in Miami, New Orleans and New York.
The entire Sackler family will have their last name legally changed to Gonzalez.
India will announce a new campaign to reform Jammu and Kashmir into the “Indian Switzerland,” complete with quaint mountain villages, lots of ski resorts and hundreds of new mountain gondolas and aerial trams. Prime Minister Modi will announce contests to select a new cheese, new beer and Hindu mountain lederhausen to support the new Jammu and Kashmir brand.
The first SETI signal will be received from aliens claiming that they have Jeffrey Epstein and that they would like to return him. But, they still want to hang onto Elvis for a while longer, if that is OK.
Boeing’s stock will rebound and surge after they rebrand the 737 Max to the 737 Maxine.
Greta Thunberg will appear in the next X-Men movie as ClimaRage and will beat down Magneto with guilt and shame.
Joe Biden will be diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, but will not pull out of the race. “Does it even matter anymore?” he will say at the press conference announcing the diagnosis.
Hong Kong will go dark and become the worlds largest abandoned mall.
Disney will announce its purchase of the Notre Dame Cathedral. The entertainment behemoth will claim that only it has the resources to successfully complete the renovation of the fire-damaged landmark, and the culture to maintain French history and tradition. Tours of the site will begin soon after and will be led by Snow White and Mickey Mouse.
Disney will also announce that it has purchased Stonehenge, the Pyramids, Machu Picchu and the Great Wall of China, and that all these new properties will be anchors for new entertainment megahubs. Disney spokespeople will claim that only Disney has the resources to maintain these historical and cultural marvels, and at the same time better leverage their tourism revenue potentials. And they also have animated feature length movies for each site, coincidentally.
A Religious Liberty bill will be signed into law reassigning all non-Christians to their new Christian denominations. Buddhists will become Baptists. Muslims will become Methodists. The Hindus will become Congregationalists. Mormons will become Presbyterians. “What about us?” the Unitarians will ask in a barely heard voice, to which the official response will be, “Go talk to the Catholics. Maybe they want you.”
Pay day loans, reverse mortgages and high frequency trading will be recognized by the SEC, FTC and Justice Department as key corruptions and cancers to capitalism. Nonetheless, they will spread and proliferate like weeds. New types and styles of snake oils and shell games will join them in the disfigurement of capitalism.
A growing number and majority of stores, restaurants and businesses in general will no longer accept cash, preferring credit cards and digital currency. Most panhandlers, prostitutes and drug dealers will also stop accepting cash and will instead require PayPal, Venmo or Bitcoin.
Surveillance will become ubiquitous as all devices in our lives - phones, doorbells, coffeemakers, tablets, speakers, watches, TVs, thermostats, crockpots, electrical plugs, litter boxes, remote controls, dog collars, security systems, vibrators, cars, weapons, (the list is growing) etc. - will harvest data about our lives and behaviors and feed that data to “data brokers” who analyze and sell that to other corporations. In response to this growing threat, personal data security companies will emerge that will require customers to register their personal data with them and will promise to protect that data. People will fall for this.
Online social influencer and personal data broker will become top paying jobs.
The first inter-species hybrid human will come to light in a gene-splicing lab somewhere in China. It will be either a pigboy or a monkeygirl. Scientific and medical authorities around the world will express their outrage. Meanwhile, millions will clamor to place orders for puppyboys and kittygirls.
The U.S. Department of Defense will officially begin planning strategies to weaponize the Internet. PornhubDoD.mil will be announced as the “nuclear option.”
The Republican and Democratic parties will assume new nicknames, the Hatfields and McCoys. “Oh, puh-lease,” will say 89-year-old Dolly Hatfield, granddaughter of “Devil” Anse Hatfield, of Possum Holler, Kentucky, to reporters from her nursing home, “we was never as bad as all them DC politicians. They’re downright crazy. We was just a mite pissed off.”
Dating apps will go the way of porn magazines as mating algorithms begin populating our phones and browsers with photos of candidates in our lane, based on various demographic variables. Amazon and Google will provide online weddings, will even provide avatars to act as bridesmaid and best-man.
Digisex will trend as the new safe alternative to physical sex.
The $15.5 trillion US corporate debt bubble, 74% of US GDP, will burst, throwing the US into economic chaos. Celebrations, by those who have dreamed of the event, will be short-lived when it is realized that no one’s phones work.
Nancy Pelosi and Bill Maher will be the first residents to check in at a luxurious new reeducation camp outside of Fairbanks. The string of new American Gulags with be a booming new industry and will provide many jobs for patriotic Alaskans.
Many US churches will begin installing security checkpoints, gun emplacements and sniper overwatch.
Many schools will implement TCPs, Traffic Control Points, manned by armed security personnel, except at rural schools, where TCPs will be manned by armed teachers and parents, and in some districts, students.
The PSC, Private Security Corporation, industry will surge and boom like a high school band at halftime at a Friday night football game.
High school bands will begin wearing tactical body armor at Friday night halftimes.
Hillary Clinton will finally reveal the location of Jimmy Hoffa’s body. “I told her not to do it!” Bill will say at her trial.
Trump will get reelected and will immediately sign an executive order establishing The Department of Truth, whose mandate will be to officially and legally determine which facts are truths and which are lies. Using the term “alternative facts” will become illegal.
The Democratic Party candidates for president will switch from debates to playing concerts as a band, during which each gets a solo spotlight, during which they have 5 minutes to play their instrument and riff on politics. Squabbles over who plays lead guitar and the drums will follow the band throughout their tour. Buttigieg will never stop complaining about having to play the flute.
A startup company will release a new product called the Emonilometer, which will measure a person’s emotional and spiritual depth and flow. Various plans ands price points will be available. Sales will soar as customers catch on that the more you pay the deeper your flow. (Note: A “nilometer” is used to measure river depth and flow, was first used by the ancient Egyptians.)
Multiple sources within the White House will claim that Trump’s favorite new phrase is “It’s good to be the king.” Sources close to Mel Brooks will claim that his favorite new phrase is, “Oy vey.”
A new extinct human species will be discovered. Homo idioticus will answer a lot of burning questions regarding the human tree of evolution, and the current state of humanity.
The collapse of the dairy industry, due to unmanageable costs and ratios, will lead scientists and farmer to look for other sources of milk, beyond almond and oat. New options will include shark milk, beetle milk, flamingo milk and even spider milk, for which demand will quickly out-strip supplies, due to consumers hoping for spider super powers.
A joint Chinese-Israeli-SpaceX project will start building a lunar station on the moon. The station will be focused on research and mining, but also will offer “Do It On the Moon” romantic get-away packages for couples.
The Labor Secretary will quip during a press conference that “retirement is for pussies.”
US Space Command will begin selecting and training its first class of Space Rangers.
LSD and psilocybin will be the new cure-all super-drugs, for everything from depression, addiction and dementia. Doctors and pharmacists will take to referring to these as Timothy Leary treatments. Members of the Leary family will demand a cut of the action.
Coach Orgeron and LSU will replace Saban and Alabama as the defining college football program, and will set new standards in 2020 when LSU becomes the first to sign a QB right out of middle school. Other schools will soon follow.
Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders will make a soft porn short film together in an attempt to connect with American voters.
Copyright Jeff Forker 2020
submitted by jaforker to satire [link] [comments]

In a world where technology rules with an iron fist, a group of rebels use phone apps to cast spells and weave enchantments into megaphones, motorcycles, and electric guitars. Magepunk is the future.

Cyber punk by way of the council of elrond. I really don't think this one came out great. It's...okay. I would probably skip it unless you really want to see lord of the rings re-imagined as cyberpunk.
Art banged on the door and pulled his hood up against the rain and spysats.”Lomir,” he whispered. The concealment spell spread out around them to infect every digital eye in a block. It would only last a minute; the enemy was stronger than ever, but it should be enough.
He spoke to the man next to him. “Okay Fred, everything is going to be okay now. These are the best magi in the world, if anybody can help us it’s them.”
The man next to him huddled in his coat. They both had brown hair, but where Art was tall, broad, and lean, with grey eyes, fitting for an ex-Army ranger, Fred was short with brown eyes and shaggy hair.
A thin woman with long dark hair opened the door a crack. “Were you followed?” she hissed.
Art shook his head. “No, I took precautions El. I’ve got a concealment spell up but I think they know we’re in the area.” His eyes went wide as he felt some of the cameras start to come back online. “Shit. I think the Eye is looking for us. The spell is failing. Let us in!”
El jerked the door open and waved them in before slamming it shut. She snapped off a single hair from her head and wrapped the doorknob, and whispered “findele.” The hair dissolved in to a mass of nanites that set about reinforcing the door.
El turned back around to face them. She was pretty but could have been any age from a rough 25 to a well preserved 50. “That should hold them for a while. With any luck they’ll just think it was a random outage.” She examined Fred. “So. You’re supposed to save us all.”
Fred shuffled his feet. “I guess. I don’t really understand everything, but Art found me. Said I needed to take this to Oculus headquarters to destroy it.” Fred pulled a ring out of his pocket and held it up.
El stared. She started to reach out to examine it but caught herself in time and pulled back. “You...you just hold on to that.” She brushed past them to move down the hall. “Come on, you’re the last ones to arrive. We have a war council to attend.”
She led them down a dark hallway. “Cala.” The old LED lights along the hallway glowed gently to life, still good after all these years. They came out in a large room, lined with monitors and humming server racks, with a large table in the center. There were 4 other people already sitting around it.
“Okay, so this is everyone. That’s Legs,” she pointed to a tall lanky blonde man, who nodded, “Grim,” a shorter man, about Freds height, with a bushy beard, wearing a lot of leather, “Barry,” he was a bit shorter than Art but had the same coloring, “And Gramps,” and old man with a scraggly beard, holding a staff, he was wearing grey robes.
“I told you my name is Linus,” he snapped.
“And I told you that we aren’t using our real names. This council is warded and air gapped but we can’t take chances. Gramps.”
He grumbled and crossed his arms.
El gestured to the table. “Go ahead and take a seat. Coffee?” Everyone nodded. “Tulu yullas,” she said in a clear voice. Fred could hear a coffee maker hum to life and saw a small drone zip over to it with a tray. “Coffee should be around shortly, everyone. Now, Gramps,” she smirked as she said it, “I think it would be best if you told us what you found.”
Gramps grumbled and stood up. “Very well. It started a month ago when I went to meet with one of my contacts, Sarah. Known her for years. I wanted to discuss recent movements Oculus has been making. Buying up opposition, squashing dissident stories. They haven’t put out a new product in years, ever since Google crushed them in the AR wars, but there was rumbling that something big was going to happen soon. Sarah said she had information on it.”
Gramps took a cup of coffee from the drone and took a sip. “She was at least telling the truth about that. I told her that the ring,” he nodded to Fred, “had turned up again like a bad penny and was making its way around the world. She seemed pretty shocked by that, and insisted that we secure it. We quarrelled over it, I wanted it to be destroyed, she said I was being a fool. I said that with this we could destroy oculus forever, but she just wanted the power.”
Gramps sighed. “I trusted her, so I didn’t have any firewalls up. She finally told me that she had joined forces with Oculus, and wanted to know if I would join her. I laughed in her face. That’s when she triggered her binding. Burnt out almost everything I had on me all at once, including my phone,” he threw a burnt piece of plastic on the table, “supposed to be military grade but the battery blew out immediately. Blew out my ID, my rings, everything. Then she triggered another app, the walls of a cage shot up around me. I was stuck and she knew it. She told me I would have plenty of time to think about it and left.”
Gramps grinned. “But all her fancy apps failed to account for my walking stick here.” He picked it up. “Had a backup ID and com ring deep in a secret compartment, wrapped in a faraday cage. Took me a while to get it wired up to the aether, but once I did, I was able to make contact with a friend of mine, he was able to get me out. Came here soon as I was able.”
Fred raised his hand. El smiled at that. “You don’t have to do that here, Fred. You have a question?”
Fred nodded. “But what’s so special about this ring, anyway? It’s just a ring.”
El shook her head. “Unfortunately, it’s not just a ring. It’s a biometric lock that gives you access to all of their bitcoin deposits. It has the original passcode that all of their accounting was based on. If you were to take that to their headquarters, you would have complete control over their company. You could do whatever you wanted with it, burn it to the ground, control it, sell it, anything. And there’s nothing they could do to stop you. They will do literally anything to get a hold of it.”
“But why me?”
“That’s an incredible coincidence. According to my scrying, well, you remember your Uncle Bill?” Fred nodded. “He was their CFO since the beginning. Crypto wasn’t as popular then and people were still worried about security, so he went to the main server of the company and had it create a ring. That ring. It contains the password to give you access to all of their crypto accounts, and you can only access it if you have the right biohash. His biohash, as it turns out. And you happen - by some one in a billion chance - to share the right markers with him. Given enough time, any of us in this room could fake it. But you can just use it outright.” El nodded to Gramps. “Thank you, Gramps, please take a seat. Barry, I believe you were next?”
Barry stood up and nodded to Art. “Some of you I’ve met before, some I haven’t, but I’m Barry. Me and my brother Frank, we’re heirs to one of the Google fortunes. And we’ve been digging.”
“I remember the technomage wars, a lot of us do, and I know that the official history is that the remnants of the Fang alliance - after Facebook was crushed - was able to defeat oculus and kill their chance at recovery, but I’m here to tell you that just isn’t true. It was largely a draw, until Oculus just withdrew. They stopped fighting everywhere, ended all their rituals, and went back in to research and development mode. And look around you. They might have officially ‘lost,’ but Oculus still makes the best haptics around. That’s why they are still the most popular, even years after they stopped producing anything new.”
“My brother, Frank, he’s the oldest, so he gets a chance to play with the newest technology. He showed me this new piece that lets you hack in your dreams. You know how fast dream time is, well, the response time on this lets you pass through firewalls like they aren’t even there. So, one night, he took me scrying with him. We decided to go for oculus headquarters. We thought they were dead. We were wrong.”
“It was six of us. Frank was having a party and everyone wanted to try out the newest scrying method, so we went under and followed him over the aether into the oculus servers. Like I said, we thought they were dead, but what we saw there...massive databases chugging away, servers running at peak capacity, security like nothing I’ve ever seen. We had to hide from bot patrols every five minutes. I wanted to leave but Frank wanted to keep looking, so we went deeper in to the racks. That was a mistake.”
“They shouldn’t have been able to find us, but, well, someone was dropping packets. One of the bots was able to spot his tracks and start running us down. Frank heard the alarm going off before any of us. He told us to run, to get back to the party. We did, but not everyone made it.”
Barry slumped forward. “Frank and I, we’re the best. We’ve been hacking since we were old enough to punch a keyboard. We made it out. But the rest of them weren’t so lucky. The bots caught them, and...this is the part I don’t understand, they killed them. Not in the aether, in the real. Every other person in our party had seizures and died right there. We knew right then that we had to do something. Once I heard that the ring was back in play, well, I knew I needed to come here and talk it out with El. Frank stayed behind. He’s fighting them every night in his dreams, trying to slow down whatever they’re doing, but he needs help. We all do.” Barry sat down heavily and stared at his coffee. “You got any whiskey for this?”
Grim grunted and pulled a flask out of his vest. “Take it, lad.” He slid it across the table. Barry raised it back to Grim in a toast, then uncapped it and filled up his coffee cup with it.
Grim stood up. “Might as well go next. Go by Grim.” He had a scottish accent. “I’m not famous like some of ye, but I’m one of the best damn app programmers in the world. Runs in the family. My father, he wrote the very first micropayment app. We have a reputation. You need something new built? You come to the Grim family. We can build anything.”
“So we weren’t all that surprised when a representative from Oculus came by a few weeks ago. Really slimy shite, hands like he’d never woven a script in his life. He said he wanted something new. Something like the world had never seen. He said he couldn’t offer us the details until we signed, but he promised to make it worth our while. And then, he pulled out a ring, like that one,” he nodded to Fred, who shoved the hand inside his pocket, “and told us that it was a biometric lock, keyed to one of the outstanding Oculus crypto fortunes. The exact numbers had been lost, but it was worth a fortune. And they would key it to us, as long as we agreed to work with them.”
“Well, my father thanked him for his time and told him we would be in touch, and then showed him the door. He told me ‘Laddie, I don’t care what they wanted us to build, that price was too much.’ We sat up late that night, drinking whiskey, and we couldn’t figure out what they might want so badly. Or for that matter, how in the world oculus had that much money to throw at us. It was wrong. And then we talked about the Fang war, when huge swaths of people could be cut off at a moment's notice as the aether buckled under the traffic. He told me ‘I don’t know what’s going to happen, lad, but it’s bad. I can feel it in me bones.’ He said he knew you, El, from way back, said you would have some insight as to what’s going on. I can tell you, after hearing all these stories, I’m starting to think my da was right.” Grim sat back down. Everyone looked at Legs. He lifted his eyebrows. “Oh, me?” He had an english accent. He smiled at Grim. “I think his father’s correct. And there’s no way I’m going to let my man go into that kind of danger alone.”
Grim blushed. “No need to bring up our personal life, Legs. I’m happy to have you along.” Legs leaned over and ruffled his hair. Grim tried to sink into the chair.
El smiled. “I can respect that, Legs. I believe that with this new information, I finally understand what is going on there.” She stood. “Barry was correct when he said that Oculus chose to lose the Fang war. I believe, after hearing your stories, I know why. What I know for sure is that on the day the turned inward, their head of engineering died. He was trying out a new haptic protocol. His death sounds very much like what your friends experienced, Barry. They have been snapping up all the best magi in the world, which is obviously why they came for you Gramps, and you, Grim. They are weaving something dark in there. Let me show you something.” She raised her voice. “Tul!”
A wheeled cage came rolling in on it’s own. Inside was a man that was all skin and bones. He flinched from the light and cowered in his cage.
El sighed. “This...WAS...Gary. He was an associate of mine, but he was doing something very similar to your friends, Barry. He was trying out a new haptic that gave him unprecedented response time, because it operated on a different part of the brain. He was using it just like you, to explore the oculus servers. But maybe because they didn’t perceive him as a threat, they didn’t kill him. They enslaved him. When we took off the haptics, he started attacking everyone. It took eight of us to seal him in this cage. His mind is gone. I’ve communed with him, I’ve dived deep into his mind, but it’s gone. The only desire left is to kill for oculus. Make no mistake, if I were to let him out of this cage he would do his best to kill all of us. Vanya.” The cage rolled back into the shadows.
“I believe this is what they are working towards. This is why their security is so tight, why their servers run day and night creating terrible engines, why the corrupted Sarah. Their plan is to deploy this evil thing to every Oculus haptic out there and create an army of slaves. They will take over the world without firing a shot. The only good news is that since they are still recruiting, they have not completed the project. We still have time to bring them down. With that ring, Fred, we can go to the center of their headquarters, and destroy all their power. We can transfer away all of their savings and leave them with nothing, and they will collapse.” She turned her gaze to the rest of the table. “But he cannot go alone. Who will go with him?”
Art was the first one to stand. “I’m just a grunt, but,” he pulled out the monomolecular blade on his back, “you have my sword.”
Barry stood up. “And my code.”
Grim stood up and pounded his fist on the table. “And my apps!”
Legs and Gramps also nodded. El smiled. “Good. Then we have a fellowship.”
submitted by adriftingleaf to adriftingleaf [link] [comments]

A Hefty Apology..

First, I'd like to apologies for how long this is going to be, but I believe context is everything.
I'd like to apologize to the Nano community. Since before the re brand I've always cracked jokes about the project, primarily because I can't stand moonbois.. but I digress.
I guess you could say I was early on the Bitcoin chain. I was blown away by the white paper and mined coins before ASICs we're even a discussion. Never got rid of them or anything, just thought it was an amazing concept to me since I had been repeatedly jacked around by a few banks. However, as a recurring theme life happened and I fell out of it completely. A few years went by when someone brought it up to me and when I asked how much it was worth, I almost had a heart attack. Probably shouldn't have spilled beer on the laptop holding my address and key. It didn't even cross my mind when I threw it out..
So I was back, other projects were on the come up and I took interest. Thought they were great, still do.. But I couldn't wrap my head around a lot of it. I'm familiar with code like I am around the block of an engine, but I'm not a mechanic. I couldn't fathom having to use a calculator to figure out how much gas I needed to send 100 coins of X. Thought I did it right and boom... Dust. The rage. Made some good strides and learned from previous mistakes, but I was still somewhat upset with decisions made within these projects. Who would think that was okay? Life happened again and I dropped out for quite awhile again to return back to a colleague at work mentioning BTC at around 9K. I quietly (I don't mention to many people about how involved I've been) checked out my addresses and was blown away. So I was back.
Yeah I made gains (lost a lot too), but I was already well on my way in life and career and didn't need the rocket in some dream of a lambo (Masi's are better). I just wanted all of this to work. Again, it seemed like it was too hard to do anything, move things around... Dust here, dust there.. None the less, I learned more. Taught myself some code just so I could understand the githubs.. No desire to code, just wanted to learn. The dream I saw a few years ago was growing and I felt optimistic. Stuck around for a long run and then life happened again.
Came back at probably the best time in late summer 2017. You want to talk about diversification... I just (today) burned a stack of papers with private keys written down to projects I forgot even existed. The mayhem! Anyway, won some lost some yeah yeah everyone has those stories....
I was still frustrated because that image I had in my head when I was a bit younger was not really fulfilled. Man, these moonbois, let me tell you. At the time and shortly after cracking jokes and having fun was basically my MO (I'm very sarcastic, still am). But yet again, life happened and I let everything just sit where the chips were.. With the exception of those burned out GPUs and the S9's. They went into the trash.
Life gave me a nice little easy path more recently and I've been poking my head around again. The moonboi epidemic is definitely at an ATH. But where the hell was this image I had years back and now and why did it seem like it died? Too many scams? Too many hacks? Too much smoke and mirrors? The founding idea is/was so perfect?
But I wanted that image. The past couple weeks I've been being my sarcastic ass and ripping a bit on Nano. I saw an actual well thought out post on Reddit and thought “Alright, that's pretty well said. Let me hear this out.” So I took a look. Thought it was better put together than other projects so I lurked around.
Today in the daily general I asked for a laymen's approach. I didn't need it, but I wanted to see what would be thrown at me. I was impressed. I saw on another thread about Natrium and a faucet... DAMN, that was fast. Alright I thought, let's dabble. So I did what I always do.. Took a little BTC to the exchange, picked up some nano, set up the ledger and mobile app and tested some stuff out.
Do you know the feeling after everything I just said to send 10 Nano from the exchange (including fee) to a mobile wallet, to the ledger, back to the mobile wallet and then back to the exchange and in the end... still have 10 Nano? In under less than I don't even know.. as fast as I could copy and paste it?!
I called for my wife took her phone and sent myself 10 Nano back and forth. Man am I an asshole. I'm not “In” so to speak, because honestly, at this point. I don't care about prices. I just want to use the shit. Life happens, I want to be able to continue down life and use this shit. The last time I actually used BTC for anything was in 2014.
BTC is digital gold for me.. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah... Sounds like some WSJ headline, I know. But it's been a good hedge against inflation for what's it worth. But during that second to last time I was back.. the Tx fees were unbelievable. Store of value, all the way, buying a snickers bar? No thanks mate.
I'm actually late to meet a friend at the bar for our weekly pint, was gonna just send this, but he's a moonboi. One sec. Lol --- 45 min later --- Alright, at the pub. Got him to download Natrium. We're now gonna just buy eac hother drinks for the next few hours.
I have some questions regarding decentralization.. bottle necking, spam transactions, but I can ask them in discord I guess. My only fear is that this could be replicated by Chase/BofA etc, but then again, I kind of left them years ago for a reason.
I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry I was a sarcastic asshole. This is by far the closest thing I've wanted in a very long time. Send 1 Nano.. Get 1 Nano. Who would have thought. I'm going back to darts, but before I go...
- Can someone send me something on how to set up a node? Walk through maybe?
- Mods should pin this. I don't care about worthless internet points. Truth is I'm on my 9th or 10th Reddit account. So, I'll retire this one as soon as I hit send. But I think there is a valuable lesson from my time in this crazy town.
I'm not getting rid of my BTC and “going all in for the moonbois”. But I'll definitely be using my Nano. Whenever or wherever I can.
Thank you.
submitted by zBeale to nanocurrency [link] [comments]

What the fuck is steam VR doing to my computer?

SOLVED Zmann966 has solved it. https://www.reddit.com/oculus/comments/6wspn2/what_the_fuck_is_steam_vr_doing_to_my_computedmaqq6o/
Steams vrserver is creating massive error log files.
More info: https://www.reddit.com/Steam/comments/4sr65e/612gb_text_log_in_steam/d5br6aj/
https://www.reddit.com/oculus/comments/4hcp9j/explanation_of_where_300gb_went/
https://forums.oculus.com/community/discussion/49829/vrserver-txt
https://steamcommunity.com/app/250820/discussions/3/357286663692515618/
https://github.com/ValveSoftware/openvissues/444
Man, fuck steam.
I've been noticing some extremely odd behavior from steam's VR applications to the point that it has me very worried and I can't find any explanation for it in the internet.
So I'm at work the other day and I get a call from my girlfriend telling me Photoshop isn't working because the scratch disks are full. I thought this was weird because I was sure I had over 100gb if space left on my C drive, but hey I have been installing a lot of VR games so it's possible. So I check it out when I get home and find to my horror my C drive, 0 bytes available. Every last byte gone. So I quickly start making some space by deleting old games.
This is where I'm truly shocked.
Every gig I free up disappears in front of my eyes in seconds.
I try closing everything and rebooting several times, no dice. No matter what I do space just keeps being eaten gig by gig. I end up downloading CCleaner which I can hardly believe my eyes tells me "You could free 150,000,000kb by removing steam VR temporary files."
What the fuck.
The program wasn't even running!
After removing it and reinstalling the problem seemed to be solved.
Except last night after playing some robo recall and closing Oculus home (again didn't even start steam) I find after a couple hours my computer is burning hot.
My computer is never hot, so I fire up MSI afterburner to see what's going on only to find my GTX 1080 ti is running full tilt at 80°c with no applications open.
Into the task manager I go, lo and behold steamvrserver is using 50% of my resources even though steam isn't running. I end task it and my GPU temp immediately drops to 40°c.
What the hell is going on?
Edit: Seeing as everyone is so eager to inform me I have a bitcoin mining virus I just want to point out I've scanned my computer several times with Malwarebytes, AVG and windows defender and it's all clean.
Also the space eating and GPU stressing were on separate occasions.
Most likely answer I can see is SteamVR failing to quit and writing enormous log files for days. Hard to verify as I cleared steams temp files when I found out they were 150Gb.
Would also explain the GPU if it was background running several instances of steam VR home that failed to quit.
Thanks for the help, those of you who were helpful.
submitted by Cerpin-Taxt to oculus [link] [comments]

Numerical, A-C 10k-50k

0xProject 100DaysofKeto 100pushups 100thieves 11foot8 1200isfineIGUESSugh 1200isjerky 1200isplentyketo 13ReasonsWhy 15minutefood 1911 195 1DaySkill 23andme 24hoursupport 2b2t 2mad4madlads 30PlusSkinCare 32dollars 360video 3Blue1Brown 3d6 3Dmodeling 3DSdeals 3dsFCswap 3dsmax 3dspiracy 40k 40kOrkScience 45thworldproblems 4chanExploitables 4ChanMeta 4hourbodyslowcarb 4Runner 4x4 4Xgaming 52book 52weeksofcooking 5ToubunNoHanayome 6thForm 7daystodie 80s 80sdesign 80smusic 90dayfianceuncensored 90daysgoal 90s 90sAlternative 90scartoons 90sdesign 90sHipHop 90smusic 9gag 9M9H9E9

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AsiaTripper ask Ask_Politics ask_transgender askashittydoctor AskAShittyMechanic AskAstrologers askastronomy AskBaking askcarsales AskComputerScience AskDrugNerds askdrugs AskEconomics AskEurope AskFeminists AskFoodHistorians AskGameMasters AskGames AskHistory AskHR AskLEO AskLiteraryStudies AskLosAngeles AskMarketing askmeaboutmyjob AskNYC AskOldPeople AskParents AskPhotography AskPhysics AskProgramming askpsychology AskScienceDiscussion askseddit AskSF AskStatistics AskTechnology AskThe_Donald askTO AskTrollX AskVet AskWomenOver30 asl asoiafcirclejerk ASOUE aspergirls aspiememes AssassinsCreedOdyssey assettocorsa AssPotatoCucumberDog astrologymemes astrologyreadings Astroneer astrophysics Astros ASU ATAAE AteThePasta atheismrebooted AtlantaHawks AtlantaTV AtlantaUnited AtomicPorn atoptics ATT AubreyPlaza auckland audible audio audiobooksonyoutube audiodrama Audiomemes audiophilemusic AudioPost augmentedreality AusFinance auslaw AustralianCattleDog AustralianMakeup AustralianPolitics 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c137 C_Programming C_S_T cabins cablefail cablegore CableManagement cactus cad cade cafe CafeRacers CAguns cakeday cakedecorating Cakes CAKEWIN CalamariRaceTeam calculus CalgaryFlames CallMeCarson CallMeKevin callofcthulhu CallOfDutyBlackOps4 CallOfDutyWorldWarTwo calmhands caloriecount camaro Cameras CamilaCabello CamillaHasselgaard CampfireCooking camphalfblood canadaguns CanadianForces CanadianInvestor CanadianMOMs canadients canberra cancer candiceswanepoel canes cannabiscultivation Canning CannotWatchScottsTots canon canucks Capitalism CapitalismVSocialism caps CaptainDisillusion CaptainSparklez CaptchaArt capybara CaraDelevingne CarAV carbage carcrash CardiB Cardinals carlhprogramming CarmellaRose CarolineVreeland Carpentry CartoonGangsters cartoons Cascadia Casefile caseyneistat CasiDavis cassetteculture cassiebrown CastleRockTV castlevania CastRecordings casualknitting casualnintendo CasualPokemonTrades cat cataclysmdda Catan catapult_memes catastrophicsuccess Catbun CatCircles catfruit CatHighFive CatholicMemes catreactiongifs CatReactions CatsAndDogsBFF CatsBeingCats CatsInBusinessAttire CatsInSinks Catsmirin CatsMurderingToddlers CatsNamedToothless CatsOnCats CatsOnPizza catsridingroombas catssittingdown catsvstechnology caughtcheating caving CayleeCowan cbdinfo celeb_redheads CelebBattles CelebGfys celebrities CelebrityArmpits Celebrityasses CelebrityFeet celebritylegs CelebsBR Celiac CelineFarach cellbits CemeteryPorn CemuPiracy Ceramics cerebral CerseiWinsTheThrone CFA CFL chadsriseup Championship chanceme ChanceTheRapper changelog ChannelWatch ChantelJeffries chanzhfsneakers chapotraphouse2 Charcuterie Chargers ChargeYourPhone Charity Charleston Charlotte CharlotteHornets CharlotteMcKinney CharlyJordan Chattanooga cheatatmathhomework cheating_stories cheerleaders Cheese cheesemaking Chefit chefknives chemhelp ChemicalEngineering chemistrymemes chernobyl ChernobylTV CherokeeXJ Chevy chicagofood ChicagoSuburbs Chicken_Thoughts chickens chickswithchokers 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cripplingalcoholism criterion CriticalTheory Crittersoncapybaras croatia crochetpatterns CrohnsDisease cromch CroppedNorrisJokes CrossfitGirls CrossView CrowdPulledOnStage crtgaming Cruise Crunchyroll CrusadeMemes crusadersquest crypto_currency Crypto_General CryptocurrencyICO CryptocurrencyICOs cryptocurrencynewico cryptography CryptoSoul CryptoTechnology CryptoTrade CryptoTradingFloor Cryptozoology Crystals cs50 csbooks CSEducation CSeventVODs csgobetting csgomarketforum csgotrade csMajors CSRRacing2 css_irl csshelp Cthulhu cuba CubeWorld Cubs CucumbersScaringCats cuddlebuddies CuddlePuddle cuddleroll CulinaryPlating CulinaryPorn CultCinema cults culturalstudies Cumberbitches Cumtown cuntsdownunder Cuphead curb curiosityrover curiousvideos curlsinthesquatrack Currentlytripping cursed_cats cursedcursedcomments cursedgifs custommagic CustomPlayerCutscene cute CuteButHorrifying cutegirlgifs cutekorean cutelittlefangs cutenoobs CuteTraps cutouts cvsreceipts cyanogenmod Cyberbooty cyberlaws Cyberpunk_Music CyberVeinOfficial cyclocross cynicalbritofficial czech CZFirearms
submitted by j259awesome to u/j259awesome [link] [comments]

Announcing BitcoinSOS (Soul Of Satoshi) Client - The most Satoshi client out there! Don't believe us? You're a socialist!

We are excited to announce the arrival of our new Bitcoin Cash client BitcoinSOS (Soul Of Satoshi).
BitcoinSOS has 128 Petabyte blocks. None of this socialist 128MB crap! 128MB is for pussies who don't want to compete. We have the biggest blocks!
BitcoinSOS is the truest vision of Satoshi out there. We actually codified Satoshi's soul into this client. It is so Satoshi that you don't need to even listen to anyone else any more. Just listen to BitcoinSOS and don't think. We are going to lock the protocol down.
Since there is nothing you can do about it we might as well explain our strategy:
  1. Build a media company to control the conversation both online and in-person at conferences. Our new media company will be called CoinNerd.
  2. Hire some paid shills. Blockstream's tactics worked like a charm, so we thought, why not adopt their strategy. Anytime an discussion comes up concerning our interests we'll ramp up the rhetoric in favour so it seems like there is natural support in the community for us.
  3. Build an echochamber. We aren't lucky enough to control our own bitcoin so we'll need to build one. We'll install a head mod that seems 'independent' but really serves our interests to a T. We know how well it worked on bitcoin so all we need to do is copy that and people will fall inline. Whoever doesn't will likely leave anyway, and those who don't leave we can just kick out. This will be the perfect place to organise attacks against our enemies Dragon's Den style.
  4. We'll try and get the BCH developers to sign a contract swearing allegiance to BitcoinSOS.
  5. If that fails we'll say that BitcoinSOS is the only client that represents Bitcoin and Satoshi's will. Anyone who does not agree with Satoshi Vision is welcome to fork off to their own new path. Any forks from the Satoshi Vision path will not be Bitcoin and will have to come up with some other name for their fork.
  6. We'll hire a Satoshi front man. He'll study the one area of the subject matter very closely, just enough to stand on a stage and sound like he knows what he is taking about. Then we'll put him on display at every single opportunity imaginable. He'll build up a cult of unquestioning followers in that echochamber we created. In almost every sentence he will allude to the fact he is Satoshi, but of course he won't prove it. But that won't matter since we will encourage a culture of ignorance and loyalty within the cult. We'll make sure he talks in absolutes and applies strongman psychology tactics to pull more members into the cult. He'll post pictures of how rich and successful he is to signal people should follow him.
  7. We will fully patented anything you could possibly think of building on top, and anything that has already been built on top of BCH. If anyone wants to fork off they can fuck off because we own BCH now. Bitcoin has always been about using state power to enforce your will on people. If anyone tries to fork Bitcoin and devalue our patent portfolio we will attack them with our followers and lawyers.
  8. We will splash a bit of money on a few key pieces of infrastructure in the BCH ecosystem so that we look great to the community, but more importantly so that we can gag the people who built these tools. Then if anyone tried to fork we will go without the apps using our code, our IP etc. Without the companies we have invested in.
  9. If anyone who matters in the community questions us, we will call them 'socialists', 'enemies of the people'. We will create stories about them and how they are attacking Bitcoin and how they actually hate BCH. We'll burn them at the stake. All we need is for them to give up.
  10. We'll tell everyone that ONLY miners matter. We'll tell them not even economic non-mining nodes matter. Then we'll buy mining contracts to show how much hashrate we have so that we can push people to go along with us.

You think we're joking?

Compete!

Fuck the community!

We have more money than Rwanda!

We only speak

3 word sentences

for dummies to follow

And before you get any ideas, don't be like Peter and Emin and Amaury and Jihan and Haipo, all enemies of the people! Socialists! Segwit lovers! They want small blocks! They hate capitalism. [Insert final virtue signal]
Edit: We are extremely proud of our shills' vote manipulation skills today. Even though this post got over 150 upvotes they managed to keep it down at a total of 30 for the day. Absolutely great value for money! No one will find out about our plans now.
submitted by bitcoinsos to btc [link] [comments]

Daily analysis of cryptocurrencies 20191023(Market index 33 — Fear state)

Daily analysis of cryptocurrencies 20191023(Market index 33 — Fear state)

https://preview.redd.it/folaa2ztw9u31.jpg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a0aaa8476acb68252087ddf0558d293b5a9a9392

Germany Warns Of Privacy Token Usage In Money Laundering And Terrorism According to Cointelegraph, the German Federal Ministry of Finance has expressed concerns about rising use of privacy tokens due to their association with criminal activities and difficulties in tracking them. Published on Oct 19, the ministry’s “First Money Laundering and Terrorist Financing National Risk Assessment” for 2018–2019 provided analysis aimed at the identification of existing and future risks in the field of anti-money laundering (AML) and terrorism financing (TF) in Germany. Among other challenges, the report examines circulation of cryptocurrencies in the darknet for criminal purposes.
State Probe Of Facebook Expands To 47 Attorneys General According to Reuters news flash, the state probe of Facebook on allegations that the company put consumer data at risk and pushed up advertising rates has expanded to attorneys general from 47 states and territories, New York Attorney General Letitia James said on Tuesday, October 22 in a statement.
Bank Of Lithuania Becomes First Market Regulator To Issue Guidelines On STOs According to coinpage, Bank of Lithuania has become the first of market regulators to issue guidelines on STOs. The new guidelines are focussed on the classification of security tokens, assessing specific cases and providing recommendations related to the issue of the security tokens and also clarify on applicable legal regulation. Furthermore, enterprises planning to use the STO method will need to comply with EU and national legislation regulating capital-raising activities.
TBCASoft, IBM And SoftBank Announced A Mobile Payment Blockchain Blockchain platform TBCASoft, technology behemoth IBM and telecommunications conglomerate SoftBank announced on Oct 22 a collaboration to adopt a cross-carrier telecommunications blockchain payment solution.

Encrypted project calendar(October 23, 2019)

MIOTA/IOTA: IOTA (MIOTA) IOTA will host a community event on October 23rd at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles with the theme “Connecting the I3 Market and Experiencing Purchase and Sales Data.” BTC/Bitcoin: The WBS World Blockchain Summit (Middle East) will be held in Dubai from October 23rd to 24th. Cardano (ADA) and 1 other: 23 October 2019 WBS Dubai “One of a kind gathering of 500+ curated & pre-qualified investors, CEOs, CIOs, CTOs, Heads of Blockchain, Chief Digital Officers CloakCoin (CLOAK): 23 October 2019 (or earlier) CloakCoin Competition “CloakCoin competition : solve the CloakCoin ENIGMA transaction, 3rd round.” Loom Network (LOOM): 23 October 2019 Singapore Meetup “Unstack the Stack Series: Loom Network” from 6:30–8:30 PM (SST). BTGS/Bitdog: ZG.COM will open the BTGS currency and coin transfer business at 14:00 on October 23, and open the BTGS/USDT transaction pair on October 23 at 18:18. Waltonchain (WTC): 23 October 2019 Transfers Suspended “$WTC deposits and withdrawals on #TaibiExchange will be suspended from 00:00 Oct 22 (UTC+8) and are estimated to resume at 15:00 Oct 23

Encrypted project calendar(October 24, 2019)

BCN/Bytecoin: Bytecoin (BCN) released the hidden amount of the Bytecoin block network on October 24. Horizen (ZEN): 24 October 2019 Weekly Insider Team updates at 3:30 PM UTC/ 11:30 AM EDT: Engineering, Node network, Product/UX, Helpdesk, Legal, BD, Marketing, CEO Closing thoughts, AMA. ANT/Aragon: Aragon (ANT) Aragon Network will hold the theme “DAO: ICO and DeFi next step” in Hong Kong on October 24th? DATA/Streamr DATAcoin: Streamr DATAcoin (DATA) Streamr Network Technology Exchange and Project Development Conference will be held in London on October 24th. Lisk (LSK): 24 October 2019 Coding Workshop — Berlin “During this workshop you will acquire the skills to create custom transactions with the Lisk Alpha SDK using Node.js.” BTU Protocol (BTU): 24 October 2019 Africa IT Expo “Our co-founder @vidal007 will be speaking at upcoming @africa_aitex [African IT Expo] held in #Rabat #Morocco on 24th of October.” Matrix AI Network (MAN): 24 October 2019 YouTube AMA YouTube AMA from 3PM, October 24 (GMT+8). Utrum (OOT): 24 October 2019 AtomicDex Listing “We are pleased to announce that Utrum coin OOT is getting listed on Komodo Platform Decentral Exchange — AtomicDEX. “

Encrypted project calendar(October 25, 2019)

ADA/Cardano: Cardano (ADA) The Ada community will host a community gathering in the Dominican Republic for the first time on October 25. Crypto.com Coin (CRO): 25 October 2019 Live AMA with CEO “Live AMA with our CEO @Kris_HK on @cryptocom’s Twitter next Friday, 25 October, 11AM HKT.” GST/GSTCOIN: GSTCOIN(GST)LBank will be online GST on October 25, 2019 at 16:00 (UTC+8), open trading pair: GST/USDT, GST/ETH.

Encrypted project calendar(October 26, 2019)

KAT/Kambria: Kambria (KAT) Kambria will host the 2019 Southern California Artificial Intelligence and Data Science Conference in Los Angeles on October 26th with IDEAS. BTC/Bitcoin: CoinAgenda Global Summit will be held in Las Vegas from October 26th to 28th Horizen (ZEN): 26 October 2019 (or earlier) ZEN 2.0.19 Upgrade Zen 2.0.19 upgrade at block #610000, which is expected around October 26.

Encrypted project calendar(October 27, 2019)

ICON (ICX): 27 October 2019 Money 20/20 USA Event Money 20/20 USA in Las Vegas from October 27–30.

Encrypted project calendar(October 28, 2019)

LTC/Litecoin: Litecoin (LTC) 2019 Litecoin Summit will be held from October 28th to October 29th in Las Vegas, USA BTC/Bitcoin: Mt.Gox changes the debt compensation plan submission deadline to October 28 ZEC/Zcash: Zcash (ZEC) will activate the Blossom Agreement on October 28th Stellar (XLM): 28 October 2019 Protocol 12 Upgrade Vote Horizon v0.22.0 has been released, which supports Protocol 12. This gives everyone ample time to prepare for the Protocol 12 upgrade vote Celsius (CEL) and 3 others: 28 October 2019 Litecoin Summit “…The Litecoin Summit offers two fun, jam-packed days with something for everyone.” XFOC (XFOC): The IDAX platform will be online XFOC and will open the XFOC/USDT trading pair at 13:00 on October 28. MEDIUM (MDM): The IDAX platform lists MDM and will open MDM/BTC trading pairs on October 28th at 15:00. ZB/ ZB Blockchain: The “2019 Hamburg Intercontinental Dialogue Conference” hosted by ZB.com will be held from October 28th to November 9th at the Four Seasons Hotel Hamburg, Germany. BQT (BQTX): 28 October 2019 Down for Maintenance BQTX.com will be down for maintenance on the 28th of October from 7 to 12am UTC.

Encrypted project calendar(October 29, 2019)

BTC/Bitcoin: The 2nd World Encryption Conference (WCC) will be held in Las Vegas from October 29th to 31st. ICON (ICX): 29 October 2019 Decentralization “As a result, the decentralization schedule of the ICON Network has been changed from September 24, 2019 to October 29, 2019.” Ark (ARK): and 10 others 29 October 2019 WCC 2019 Second annual Blockchain and Cryptocurrency Technology event, World Crypto Conference (WCC), October 29th — October 31, 2019. Insifa (ISF): 29 October 2019 Prototype Alpha “We from Insifa have decided to be more open. Our Prototype will be developed in scrum. This means new releases every two weeks.”

Encrypted project calendar(October 30, 2019)

MIOTA/IOTA: IOTA (MIOTA) IOTA will host a community event on October 30th at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles on the topic “How to store data on IOTA Tangle.” TRON (TRX): 30 October 2019 SFBW19 Afterparty “TRON Official SFBW19 Afterparty from 7–10:30 PM in San Francisco.” Horizen (ZEN): 30 October 2019 Horizen Quarterly Update Join our first Quarterly Update on October the 30th at 5 PM UTC/ 1 PM EST. Deeper look into Engineering, BD, Marketing, and more. Aeternity (AE): 30 October 2019 Hardfork “The third hardfork of the æternity Mainnet is scheduled for October 30, 2019.” Valor Token (VALOR): 30 October 2019 Transaction Fees Resume “It’s September and the SMART VALOR Platform is still waiving transaction fees for all members, until October 30th!” Aragon (ANT): 30 October 2019 Singapore Meetup “Aragon on DAOs and DeFi” from 6:30–8:30 PM. Kambria (KAT): 30 October 2019 Outliers Hashed Awards Outliers Hashed awards from October 30–31. Ethereum Classic (ETC): 30 October 2019 Cohort Demo Day “ETC Labs hosts it’s 2nd Cohort Demo Day. Learn about the companies and project being accelerated through the Ethereum Classic ecosystem.”

Encrypted project calendar(October 31, 2019)

Spendcoin (SPND): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Cross Ledger Mainnet “Cross Ledger Mainnet Release and SPND Token Swap,” during October 2019. Spendcoin (SPND): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Blkchn University Beta “Blockchain University Beta goes live,” during October 2019. Stellar (XLM): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Minor Release “We will have 6 Minor Releases in 2019; one each in February, March, May, June, August, and October.” Bitcoin SV (BSV): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) BSV Conference Seoul No additional information. Seele (SEELE): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Public Network Mainne launch has been moved to Oct 31 . Howdoo (UDOO): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Howdoo Live on Huawei Howdoo begins its exciting partnership with Huawei with listing as a featured app starting in October. Chiliz (CHZ): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) App Soft Launch Soft launch of Socios App by end of October. Dent (DENT): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Loyalty Program “Afterburner loyalty program launch for all 21,6 Million mobile #DENT users will be in October!” IceChain (ICHX): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Wallet Release IceChain releases wallet during October. Chiliz (CHZ): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) New Partnerships New sports and new teams joining Socios (+more updates and events) will be announced in the upcoming weeks. Horizen (ZEN): 31 October 2019 Weekly Insider Team updates at 3:30 PM UTC/ 11:30 AM EDT: Engineering, Node network, Product/UX, Helpdesk, Legal, BD, Marketing, CEO Closing thoughts, AMA. PCHAIN (PI): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) New Website No additional information. IOST (IOST): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) New Game on IOST “Eternal Fafnir, a new role-playing game developed by INFUN is coming to you in Oct.” Achain (ACT): 31 October 2019 Mainnet 2.0 Launch “… The main network is officially scheduled to launch on October 31.” Mithril (MITH):31 October 2019 Burn “MITH burn will take place on 2019/10/31 2pm UTC+8. “ Aergo (AERGO): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Aergo Lite V1.0 Release AergoLite, which brings blockchain compatibility to billions of devices using SQLite, released during October 2019. TE-FOOD (TFD): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Complementary Product “Development of a new, complementary product with a new partner, which we hope to be launched in September-October.” Edge (DADI): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Full Open Source Code base for the network fully open-sourced in September or October. BlockStamp (BST): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) ASIC Miner Prototype In orderr to ensure BlockStamps continued decentralization, we will release a BST ASIC miner for testing. Perlin (PERL): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) SSA Partnership “Perlin has partnered with the Singapore Shipping Association to create the International E-Registry of Ships (IERS)” Skrumble Network (SKM): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Exchange Release “3rd dApp: Exchange Release,” during October 2019. EDC Blockchain (EDC): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Blockchain Marketplace “As you already know, our ECRO blockchain marketplace is ready for release, and will open to the global community in October!” BlockStamp (BST): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) ASIC Miner Prototype In orderr to ensure BlockStamps continued decentralization, we will release a BST ASIC miner for testing. XinFin Network (XDCE): 31 October 2019 Homebloc Webinar “XinFin — Homebloc Webinar 2019” from 9–10 PM. Akropolis (AKRO): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Alpha Release “Delivers the initial mainnet implementation of protocol. All building blocks will be united to one product.” Hyperion (HYN): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Economic Model The final version of the HYN Economic Model launches in October.

Encrypted project calendar(November 1, 2019)

INS/Insolar: The Insolar (INS) Insolar wallet and the redesigned Insolar Block Explorer will be operational on November 1, 2019. VeChain (VET):”01 November 2019 BUIDLer Reunion Party BUIDLer Reunion Party in San Francisco from 8–11 PM. uPlexa (UPX): 01 November 2019 Steadfast Storm — PoS/PoW split (Utility nodes ie. master nodes) — Upcoming Anonymity Network much like TOR — Privacy-based DApps — Reduced network fees. Enjin Coin (ENJ): 01 November 2019 MFT Binding “ICYMI: On Enjin Coin’s 2nd anniversary (November 1), Enjin MFTs will be bound to hodlers’ blockchain addresses…” Auxilium (AUX):01 November 2019 AUX Interest Distribution Monthly interest distribution by Auxilium Interest Distribution Platform for coinholders. Also supports charity. Havy (HAVY):01 November 2019 Token Buyback “Havy tokens buyback, Only in 1 exchange between Idex, Mercatox & Hotbit. The exchange depends on the most lower sell wall.”

Encrypted project calendar(November 2, 2019)

Kambria (KAT): 02 November 2019 VietAI Summit 2019 Kambria joins forces with VietAI for the annual VietAI Summit, with top experts from Google Brain, NVIDIA, Kambria, VietAI, and more!

Encrypted project calendar(November 4, 2019)

Stellar (XLM): 04 November 2019 Stellar Meridian Conf. Stellar Meridian conference from Nov 4–5 in Mexico City. Cappasity (CAPP): 04 November 2019 Lisbon Web Summit Lisbon Web Summit in Lisbon, Portugal from November 4–7.

Encrypted project calendar(November 5, 2019)

Nexus (NXS): 05 November 2019 Tritium Official Release “Remember, Remember the 5th of November, the day Tritium changed Distributed Ledger. Yes, this is an official release date.” NEM (XEM): 05 November 2019 Innovation Forum — Kyiv NEM Foundation Council Member Anton Bosenko will be speaking in the upcoming International Innovation Forum in Kyiv on November 5, 2019.

Encrypted project calendar(November 6, 2019)

STEEM/Steem: The Steem (STEEM) SteemFest 4 conference will be held in Bangkok from November 6th to 10th. KIM/Kimcoin: Kimcoin (KIM) Bitfinex will be online at KIM on November 6, 2019 at 12:00 (UTC).

Encrypted project calendar(November 7, 2019)

XRP (XRP): 07 November 2019 Swell 2019 Ripple hosts Swell from November 7th — 8th in Singapore. BTC/Bitcoin: Malta The A.I. and Blockchain summit will be held in Malta from November 7th to 8th.

Encrypted project calendar(November 8, 2019)

BTC/Bitcoin: The 2nd Global Digital Mining Summit will be held in Frankfurt, Germany from October 8th to 10th. IOTX/IoTeX: IoTex (IOTX) will participate in the CES Expo on November 08

Encrypted project calendar(November 9, 2019)

CENNZ/Centrality: Centrality (CENNZ) will meet in InsurTechNZ Connect — Insurance and Blockchain on October 9th in Auckland.

Encrypted project calendar(November 11, 2019)

PAX/Paxos Standard: Paxos Standard (PAX) 2019 Singapore Financial Technology Festival will be held from November 11th to 15th, and Paxos Standard will attend the conference.

Encrypted project calendar(November 12, 2019)

BTC/Bitcoin: The CoinMarketCap Global Conference will be held at the Victoria Theatre in Singapore from November 12th to 13th
https://preview.redd.it/uvnuirkww9u31.png?width=504&format=png&auto=webp&s=737fdd29c36f554223c9e7473cf843c60fe2bb6a

Recently, bitcoin made a few attempts to gain strength above the $8,300 resistance area against the US Dollar. BTC price even spiked above the $8,350 level, but it failed to continue higher.
As a result, a swing high was formed near $8,323 and the price started a fresh decline. During the decline, there was a break below a couple of important supports near $8,100 and $8,200. Moreover, there was a break below a short term ascending channel with support near $8,240 on the hourly chart of the BTC/USD pair.
Finally, bitcoin traded below the $8,100 support area and settled below the 100 hourly simple moving average. It is now trading below the $8,000 level and a low was formed near $7,932.
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Daily analysis of cryptocurrencies 20191022(Market index 39 — Fear state)

Daily analysis of cryptocurrencies 20191022(Market index 39 — Fear state)

https://preview.redd.it/cvdi2dmyz2u31.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2883a5be2ada413d9d280c2576c48fa338631e24

Bank Of Cambodia To Allow More Control With Blockchain Payments Assistant Governor at the National Bank of Cambodia Serey Chea said that blockchain payments will enable greater financial control and remittance efficiency in an interview with CNBC published on Oct. 22. Chea said that the National Bank of Cambodia has experimented with domestic blockchain payments for retail, but the main interest is testing them for cross-border transactions.
Cashaa Launches Banking Solution For Indian Crypto Owners Banking services platform Cashaa is offering a solution for Indian crypto owners facing banking restrictions imposed by the country’s central bank, the Reserve Bank of India (RBI). The service, starting from Oct 23, allows users to deposit up to one crore rupees (~$141,012) per month to purchase cryptocurrencies.
UK Economic Secretary On Proposed Crypto Ban: FCA Operationally Independent From Government On October 21, John Glen, Economic Secretary to the UK Treasury, replied to a series of questions related to cryptocurrencies, with most of them about the effects of the the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA)’s proposed ban on the offering of crypto-based investment products to retail investors. According to Glen, the FCA is operationally independent from government. “The government continues to endorse the approach set out in that the Cryptoasset Taskforce report as the right way to facilitate innovation while protecting consumers and firms,” he said.
CFTC Chair Says Ether Futures ‘Likely’ In 2020 Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) Chairman Heath Tarbert believes the crypto world will see Ethereum futures contracts sometime in 2020. Speaking at Georgetown University in a fireside chat during the first day of DC Fintech Week, Tarbert told moderator Chris Brummer that he “absolutely” believes Ether futures could trade in the next six to 12 months.

Encrypted project calendar(October 22, 2019)

ZRX/0x: The 0x protocol (ZRX) Pantera blockchain summit will be held on October 22. Locus Chain (LOCUS): 22 October 2019 Public Test Begins Public test runs for three days from October 22nd to October 24th. IOTA (MIOTA): 22 October 2019 EclipseCon Europe Next week, join Lewis Freiberg, our Director of Ecosystem, to learn how to build an ecosystem around IoT focused distributed ledgers. TRON (TRX): 22 October 2019 TRC20-USDT Bonanza “… @Huobiglobal . Deposit #TRC20- #USDT, enjoy APR up to 30%, starting from 00:00, Oct, 22 to 00:00, Nov, 1, 2019(SGT).” PCHAIN (PI): 22 October 2019 Ama with Founder & CEO “Jeff Cao PCHAIN founder & CEO, will host an AMA on 22nd Oct at 11:00 PM (UTC+8) in the @Binance_DEX Telegram.” iExec RLC (RLC): 22 October 2019 AMA “Tuesday 22 October 2019. You can ask the team anything you want until Thursday 17 October.”

Encrypted project calendar(October 23, 2019)

MIOTA/IOTA: IOTA (MIOTA) IOTA will host a community event on October 23rd at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles with the theme “Connecting the I3 Market and Experiencing Purchase and Sales Data.” BTC/Bitcoin: The WBS World Blockchain Summit (Middle East) will be held in Dubai from October 23rd to 24th. Cardano (ADA) and 1 other: 23 October 2019 WBS Dubai “One of a kind gathering of 500+ curated & pre-qualified investors, CEOs, CIOs, CTOs, Heads of Blockchain, Chief Digital Officers CloakCoin (CLOAK): 23 October 2019 (or earlier) CloakCoin Competition “CloakCoin competition : solve the CloakCoin ENIGMA transaction, 3rd round.” Loom Network (LOOM): 23 October 2019 Singapore Meetup “Unstack the Stack Series: Loom Network” from 6:30–8:30 PM (SST). BTGS/Bitdog: ZG.COM will open the BTGS currency and coin transfer business at 14:00 on October 23, and open the BTGS/USDT transaction pair on October 23 at 18:18. Waltonchain (WTC): 23 October 2019 Transfers Suspended “$WTC deposits and withdrawals on #TaibiExchange will be suspended from 00:00 Oct 22 (UTC+8) and are estimated to resume at 15:00 Oct 23

Encrypted project calendar(October 24, 2019)

BCN/Bytecoin: Bytecoin (BCN) released the hidden amount of the Bytecoin block network on October 24. Horizen (ZEN): 24 October 2019 Weekly Insider Team updates at 3:30 PM UTC/ 11:30 AM EDT: Engineering, Node network, Product/UX, Helpdesk, Legal, BD, Marketing, CEO Closing thoughts, AMA. ANT/Aragon: Aragon (ANT) Aragon Network will hold the theme “DAO: ICO and DeFi next step” in Hong Kong on October 24th? DATA/Streamr DATAcoin: Streamr DATAcoin (DATA) Streamr Network Technology Exchange and Project Development Conference will be held in London on October 24th. Lisk (LSK): 24 October 2019 Coding Workshop — Berlin “During this workshop you will acquire the skills to create custom transactions with the Lisk Alpha SDK using Node.js.” BTU Protocol (BTU): 24 October 2019 Africa IT Expo “Our co-founder @vidal007 will be speaking at upcoming @africa_aitex [African IT Expo] held in #Rabat #Morocco on 24th of October.” Matrix AI Network (MAN): 24 October 2019 YouTube AMA YouTube AMA from 3PM, October 24 (GMT+8). Utrum (OOT): 24 October 2019 AtomicDex Listing “We are pleased to announce that Utrum coin OOT is getting listed on Komodo Platform Decentral Exchange — AtomicDEX. “

Encrypted project calendar(October 25, 2019)

ADA/Cardano: Cardano (ADA) The Ada community will host a community gathering in the Dominican Republic for the first time on October 25. Crypto.com Coin (CRO): 25 October 2019 Live AMA with CEO “Live AMA with our CEO @Kris_HK on @cryptocom’s Twitter next Friday, 25 October, 11AM HKT.” GST/GSTCOIN: GSTCOIN(GST)LBank will be online GST on October 25, 2019 at 16:00 (UTC+8), open trading pair: GST/USDT, GST/ETH.

Encrypted project calendar(October 26, 2019)

KAT/Kambria: Kambria (KAT) Kambria will host the 2019 Southern California Artificial Intelligence and Data Science Conference in Los Angeles on October 26th with IDEAS. BTC/Bitcoin: CoinAgenda Global Summit will be held in Las Vegas from October 26th to 28th Horizen (ZEN): 26 October 2019 (or earlier) ZEN 2.0.19 Upgrade Zen 2.0.19 upgrade at block #610000, which is expected around October 26.

Encrypted project calendar(October 27, 2019)

ICON (ICX): 27 October 2019 Money 20/20 USA Event Money 20/20 USA in Las Vegas from October 27–30.

Encrypted project calendar(October 28, 2019)

LTC/Litecoin: Litecoin (LTC) 2019 Litecoin Summit will be held from October 28th to October 29th in Las Vegas, USA BTC/Bitcoin: Mt.Gox changes the debt compensation plan submission deadline to October 28 ZEC/Zcash: Zcash (ZEC) will activate the Blossom Agreement on October 28th Stellar (XLM): 28 October 2019 Protocol 12 Upgrade Vote Horizon v0.22.0 has been released, which supports Protocol 12. This gives everyone ample time to prepare for the Protocol 12 upgrade vote Celsius (CEL) and 3 others: 28 October 2019 Litecoin Summit “…The Litecoin Summit offers two fun, jam-packed days with something for everyone.” XFOC (XFOC): The IDAX platform will be online XFOC and will open the XFOC/USDT trading pair at 13:00 on October 28. MEDIUM (MDM): The IDAX platform lists MDM and will open MDM/BTC trading pairs on October 28th at 15:00. ZB/ ZB Blockchain: The “2019 Hamburg Intercontinental Dialogue Conference” hosted by ZB.com will be held from October 28th to November 9th at the Four Seasons Hotel Hamburg, Germany. BQT (BQTX): 28 October 2019 Down for Maintenance BQTX.com will be down for maintenance on the 28th of October from 7 to 12am UTC.

Encrypted project calendar(October 29, 2019)

BTC/Bitcoin: The 2nd World Encryption Conference (WCC) will be held in Las Vegas from October 29th to 31st. ICON (ICX): 29 October 2019 Decentralization “As a result, the decentralization schedule of the ICON Network has been changed from September 24, 2019 to October 29, 2019.” Ark (ARK): and 10 others 29 October 2019 WCC 2019 Second annual Blockchain and Cryptocurrency Technology event, World Crypto Conference (WCC), October 29th — October 31, 2019. Insifa (ISF): 29 October 2019 Prototype Alpha “We from Insifa have decided to be more open. Our Prototype will be developed in scrum. This means new releases every two weeks.”

Encrypted project calendar(October 30, 2019)

MIOTA/IOTA: IOTA (MIOTA) IOTA will host a community event on October 30th at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles on the topic “How to store data on IOTA Tangle.” TRON (TRX): 30 October 2019 SFBW19 Afterparty “TRON Official SFBW19 Afterparty from 7–10:30 PM in San Francisco.” Horizen (ZEN): 30 October 2019 Horizen Quarterly Update Join our first Quarterly Update on October the 30th at 5 PM UTC/ 1 PM EST. Deeper look into Engineering, BD, Marketing, and more. Aeternity (AE): 30 October 2019 Hardfork “The third hardfork of the æternity Mainnet is scheduled for October 30, 2019.” Valor Token (VALOR): 30 October 2019 Transaction Fees Resume “It’s September and the SMART VALOR Platform is still waiving transaction fees for all members, until October 30th!” Aragon (ANT): 30 October 2019 Singapore Meetup “Aragon on DAOs and DeFi” from 6:30–8:30 PM. Kambria (KAT): 30 October 2019 Outliers Hashed Awards Outliers Hashed awards from October 30–31. Ethereum Classic (ETC): 30 October 2019 Cohort Demo Day “ETC Labs hosts it’s 2nd Cohort Demo Day. Learn about the companies and project being accelerated through the Ethereum Classic ecosystem.”

Encrypted project calendar(October 31, 2019)

Spendcoin (SPND): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Cross Ledger Mainnet “Cross Ledger Mainnet Release and SPND Token Swap,” during October 2019. Spendcoin (SPND): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Blkchn University Beta “Blockchain University Beta goes live,” during October 2019. Stellar (XLM): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Minor Release “We will have 6 Minor Releases in 2019; one each in February, March, May, June, August, and October.” Bitcoin SV (BSV): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) BSV Conference Seoul No additional information. Seele (SEELE): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Public Network Mainne launch has been moved to Oct 31 . Howdoo (UDOO): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Howdoo Live on Huawei Howdoo begins its exciting partnership with Huawei with listing as a featured app starting in October. Chiliz (CHZ): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) App Soft Launch Soft launch of Socios App by end of October. Dent (DENT): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Loyalty Program “Afterburner loyalty program launch for all 21,6 Million mobile #DENT users will be in October!” IceChain (ICHX): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Wallet Release IceChain releases wallet during October. Chiliz (CHZ): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) New Partnerships New sports and new teams joining Socios (+more updates and events) will be announced in the upcoming weeks. Horizen (ZEN): 31 October 2019 Weekly Insider Team updates at 3:30 PM UTC/ 11:30 AM EDT: Engineering, Node network, Product/UX, Helpdesk, Legal, BD, Marketing, CEO Closing thoughts, AMA. PCHAIN (PI): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) New Website No additional information. IOST (IOST): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) New Game on IOST “Eternal Fafnir, a new role-playing game developed by INFUN is coming to you in Oct.” Achain (ACT): 31 October 2019 Mainnet 2.0 Launch “… The main network is officially scheduled to launch on October 31.” Mithril (MITH):31 October 2019 Burn “MITH burn will take place on 2019/10/31 2pm UTC+8. “ Aergo (AERGO): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Aergo Lite V1.0 Release AergoLite, which brings blockchain compatibility to billions of devices using SQLite, released during October 2019. TE-FOOD (TFD): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Complementary Product “Development of a new, complementary product with a new partner, which we hope to be launched in September-October.” Edge (DADI): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Full Open Source Code base for the network fully open-sourced in September or October. BlockStamp (BST): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) ASIC Miner Prototype In orderr to ensure BlockStamps continued decentralization, we will release a BST ASIC miner for testing. Perlin (PERL): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) SSA Partnership “Perlin has partnered with the Singapore Shipping Association to create the International E-Registry of Ships (IERS)” Skrumble Network (SKM): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Exchange Release “3rd dApp: Exchange Release,” during October 2019. EDC Blockchain (EDC): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Blockchain Marketplace “As you already know, our ECRO blockchain marketplace is ready for release, and will open to the global community in October!” BlockStamp (BST): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) ASIC Miner Prototype In orderr to ensure BlockStamps continued decentralization, we will release a BST ASIC miner for testing. XinFin Network (XDCE): 31 October 2019 Homebloc Webinar “XinFin — Homebloc Webinar 2019” from 9–10 PM. Akropolis (AKRO): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Alpha Release “Delivers the initial mainnet implementation of protocol. All building blocks will be united to one product.” Hyperion (HYN): 31 October 2019 (or earlier) Economic Model The final version of the HYN Economic Model launches in October.

Encrypted project calendar(November 1, 2019)

INS/Insolar: The Insolar (INS) Insolar wallet and the redesigned Insolar Block Explorer will be operational on November 1, 2019. VeChain (VET):”01 November 2019 BUIDLer Reunion Party BUIDLer Reunion Party in San Francisco from 8–11 PM. uPlexa (UPX): 01 November 2019 Steadfast Storm — PoS/PoW split (Utility nodes ie. master nodes) — Upcoming Anonymity Network much like TOR — Privacy-based DApps — Reduced network fees. Enjin Coin (ENJ): 01 November 2019 MFT Binding “ICYMI: On Enjin Coin’s 2nd anniversary (November 1), Enjin MFTs will be bound to hodlers’ blockchain addresses…” Auxilium (AUX):01 November 2019 AUX Interest Distribution Monthly interest distribution by Auxilium Interest Distribution Platform for coinholders. Also supports charity. Havy (HAVY):01 November 2019 Token Buyback “Havy tokens buyback, Only in 1 exchange between Idex, Mercatox & Hotbit. The exchange depends on the most lower sell wall.”

Encrypted project calendar(November 2, 2019)

Kambria (KAT): 02 November 2019 VietAI Summit 2019 Kambria joins forces with VietAI for the annual VietAI Summit, with top experts from Google Brain, NVIDIA, Kambria, VietAI, and more!

Encrypted project calendar(November 4, 2019)

Stellar (XLM): 04 November 2019 Stellar Meridian Conf. Stellar Meridian conference from Nov 4–5 in Mexico City. Cappasity (CAPP): 04 November 2019 Lisbon Web Summit Lisbon Web Summit in Lisbon, Portugal from November 4–7.

Encrypted project calendar(November 5, 2019)

Nexus (NXS): 05 November 2019 Tritium Official Release “Remember, Remember the 5th of November, the day Tritium changed Distributed Ledger. Yes, this is an official release date.” NEM (XEM): 05 November 2019 Innovation Forum — Kyiv NEM Foundation Council Member Anton Bosenko will be speaking in the upcoming International Innovation Forum in Kyiv on November 5, 2019.

Encrypted project calendar(November 6, 2019)

STEEM/Steem: The Steem (STEEM) SteemFest 4 conference will be held in Bangkok from November 6th to 10th.

Encrypted project calendar(November 7, 2019)

XRP (XRP): 07 November 2019 Swell 2019 Ripple hosts Swell from November 7th — 8th in Singapore.

Encrypted project calendar(November 8, 2019)

BTC/Bitcoin: The 2nd Global Digital Mining Summit will be held in Frankfurt, Germany from October 8th to 10th.

Encrypted project calendar(November 9, 2019)

CENNZ/Centrality: Centrality (CENNZ) will meet in InsurTechNZ Connect — Insurance and Blockchain on October 9th in Auckland.

BTC — So far, BTC has hit a high and fallen back, reaching a maximum of US $8371. At present, BTC has retreated to around us $8200. In the past 24 hours, the net capital inflow of BTC has exceeded US $50 million, and the market capital inflow has decreased significantly compared with the previous period. In terms of the 4-hour line, BTC rose and fell yesterday, with a long shadow. There is a big resistance near the $8400 above. It is possible that BTC will continue to move back in a short term. Sex increased. The medium-term trend is still long. As long as the support of 7800 US dollars is kept below, it is difficult for the air force to dominate the panel. Short term below support around $8100. In terms of operation, close to the resistance level can properly stop the surplus, while maintaining the strategy of bargain hunting.
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