By the power of Yahweh ( and Snake ) the famous missing episodes are back!! Now collected into four volumes. Relive your wasted youth right here, right now. :)
In the Vegan Line of Fire (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 14 hours ago * by Avocadoeagle
" Attention" " Company..." " March Forward!!!!"
As the sharp command of Maj Vegan Gnome echoes through the parade ground, Nihilist Monkey raises his hands signaling the military band to start playing the marching tune.
The military band now starts the "Ode to Mendes" national anthem and the military parade marches forward with Major Vegan Gnome leading from the front.
Today, is the sad day, that residents of Painsville,AN will bury one of their bravest sons who died in the vegan line of fire.
Captain Brocolli , special services brocolli commando, who during a valiant attempt in Operation Vegan Onslaught paid with his life, when he was accidentally squashed to death by a speeding car.
The marching party now reaches the podium, where recipient of the Medal of Mendes and the Goat of Mendes special discount certificate, Field Marshall Angry Chicken awaits them.
Major Vegan Gnome now shouts his command.
" Attention !" ( All the Vegan soldiers now stand at attention...)
Major Vegan Gnome now marches to the podium, as Field Marshall Angry Chicken arrives to receive his salute.
Major Vegan Gnome and Field Marshall Angry Chicken meet.
Major Vegan Gnome raises his Cucumber of honor and salutes the Field Marshall.
" Field Marshall Angry Chicken..." " Vegan Force Unit 34-Pipe at your service Sir!"
Field Marshall Angry Chicken acknowledges the salute.
Nihilist Monkey now signals the military band to stop the music.
It is now time to pay final respects to the brave broccoli commando.
Field Marshall Angry Chicken now arrives at the lectern and addresses the crowd.
" Pukaaak!" " Iz diz mic on...?!" asks the Field Marshall.
( A sharp shrill echo is heard in the parade ground, that forces many in the crowd to cover their ears...)
" Pukak!" " Bitchez....." " We are gathered here ... to bid farewell to diz piece of vegetable paste... that died in the line of fire, when some azzhole drove over him and squished him into a vegan paste...." " Captain Brocolli never faltered in the line of Fire..."
( Field Marshall Angry Chicken bobs his bird head left and then right....)
" He was a caring and responsible officer, devoted son and a man of honor..." " But...now he is just a pile of vegan paste...." "N he is dead..." " So fuck him...."
Field Marshall Angry Chicken now looks at the sad crowd. He doesn't have words to describe his loss. Primarily because he has no more words to say. What do you say....?
Field Marshall Angry Chicken now looks down at his thin bird legs and then stares into the distance.
" Pukak...." " Bitchez...." " In his honor, I dedicate my poem Soi Boiz"
The Field Marshall takes out his mobile phone, selects the right beat and puts his phone on speaker mode.
Beat kicks in 3...2....1....
Chorus: Rubbin oil on dem titties... Rubbin oil on dem titties...
Yu.... juzt a Soi Boi... Cry all night... Hug yo teddy bear tight... In yo azz.... You crave a pipe...
Cuz yu just a Soi boi.... N the only thing you like Izzzzzzz......
Rubbin oil on dem titties... Rubbin oil on dem titties...
( Field Marshall Angry Chicken now switches his beatbox app on his phone off with his thin bird leg...)
( Field Marshall Angry Chicken now clears his throat...)
" Datz all folks...." " Pukaaaaak!" " We out of here....."
As Field Marshall Angry Chicken runs away from the podium, Maj Vegan Gnome gives a loud command to the brave Vegan force.
" Attention...." " Vegan Force.....Left turn...." " Forward March....!!!"
Nihilist Monkey gives the cue and the marching band begins to play the new marching tune called " The Smile of The Great Goat " as the Vegan force party marches off.
Even though the people in the crowd have tears in their eyes... they feel assured in their hearts that the sacrifices of the brave Captain Brocolli did not go in vain.
Post Script: The sacrifice of Captain Brocolli did indeed go in vain. https://imgur.com/a/ptqeq
Profiles in Courage (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 42 minutes ago * by Avocadoeagle
Admiral Gustav scratches his chin as he stares at the operational map for "Operation Turnip Redemption 3 - Day One".
" Who made this plan?" asks Admiral Gustav in a serious tone to the Director General Military Plans (DGMP) Major General Mister Penis.
Major General Mister Penis, a tall thin man with a bald head, immediately feels a terrible anxiety engulfing him.
" Admiral Gustav, the plans have been approved by the Field Marshal himself.... who .... who.... made the battle plan himself... Sir!"
Admiral Gustav takes off his reading glasses and places them on the operational map.The Admiral looks down at his polished shoes and then stares into the distance.
" General Penis... you are telling me... that this plan... was made and approved by the Field Marshal..."
General Penis feels beads of sweat rolling over his forehead.
" Yes.... yes... Sir!"
Admiral Gustav looks in General Penis's eyes. The nervousness is palpable.
" You are telling me.... that this plan.... this rubbish shit plan.... of launching a strategic operation involving hundreds of spec ops vegan commandoes, aerial drones, joint strikes and C4I counter operations was made by a Chicken..."
Admiral Gustav gets up from his chair and angrily points at the operational map.
" What is this...." " Launch artillery strikes of Pineapples at 0600 Hrs, followed by an attack of men with male breasts, who will strike fear in the enemies hearts by rubbing oil over their man breasts and run naked into the enemies dug out trench areas...."
" And this bit... in which a monkey will ride a dog into the thick of battle and deliver round house kicks to the enemies.... with Master Wang..."
" And this .... this shit.... here.... where military attack helicopters will play " Soi Boi" on the speakers full blast so that the enemies can buy Xhixken MC's new rap album .....!"
" What is this shit!" " You call this a military plan General ?!!!" " Never in my thirty five years of service have I ever come across...."
( The office door opens...)
Field Marshal Angry Chicken walks in....
( Major General Mister Penis immediately delivers a sharp salute to the Field Marshal...)
" Pukaaaak!" "I was hearing you bitichin ...Admiral..."
Admiral Gustav immediately loses his cool. " Day One Mission Planning for Operation Turnip Redemption 3 is a disaster Field Marshal...how could you even...."
" Shat the faaaak up biatch..." " You don't even know what we have in store for you on Day Two Boiii...." shouts the Field Marshal.
Admiral Gustav is confused. He looks at Major General Mister Penis.
" General Penis..." " What is in store for me on Day Two...?"
General Penis nervously looks left and then right. Then he takes a sip of cold milk from a glass and clears his throat.
The Admiral is clearly inflamed.
" General Penis... you are not answering my question...!" thunders Admiral Gustav.
" What is in store for me on Day Two???!!!"
Major General Mister Penis, takes in a deep breath.
" Sir... the Field Marshal...." " The Field Marshal has ordered that you are to be fired from a torpedo canon naked into the enemies defense lines, first thing on Day Two...."
" He has said WHAT......?!!!!!" shouts Prince Gustav clearly dumbfounded by the revelation.
Major General Mister Penis can't take the anxiety anymore.
He bends down and vomits milk from his mouth.
Post Script: A gush of milk is seen being vomited by General Penis on the carpet. https://imgur.com/a/DaopN
On The Edge of Hope (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 49 minutes ago * by Avocadoeagle
" Snake.... come here..." " Come here quick...." shouts Yahweh as he sits down in front of his TV. Snake is busy making pancakes.
( News anchor voice...)
"We have information that Vegan Force is initiating Operation Turnip Redemption 3 against Teeth Whitening Turds (TWT), who have been implicated in the death of Captain Brocolli who succumbed to his vegan injuries in Operation Vegan Onslaught, three days back."
" Continue watching live coverage of Operation Turnip Redemption 3 with your most trustworthy fake news channel PNN..."
Snake rushes in.
" Sssss....What do you want God... ?" " Do you want whipping cream with your pancakessss?"
" Snake sit down here..." says Yahweh, without even moving his eyes off the TV set.
( News anchor voice...)
" PNN has just learned that Field Marshal Angry Chicken has decided to overwhelm the teeth whitening turds with a shock N awe display of man titties, organic pineapples and bombarding the enemies with his latest rap songs played by attack helicopters..."
Yahweh has a strange look on his face.
" What the fuck did I just hear.... Mr Chicken is doing WHAT?!"
Snake takes a sip of his lemonade.
" Ssss.... God it's called doublespeak. Attack the wrong people for the wrong reasons with the wrong tactics for a fake purpose and then declare mission accomplished. All civilized nations have engaged in BS wars over the years.... itssss good business!"
Yahweh shakes his head as he sees the live coverage on the TV screen.
"This has to be the dumbest thing that I have ever seen Snake...." says Yahweh.
Snake takes another sip of his lemonade and then stares into the distance.
" God.... it is still not as dumb as creating sentient beings on a ball of pain, in a dog eat dog world , where every animal is feasting on one another.... and enslaving all these wretched beings with intense sexual appetites , so that their miseries continue on for ever through their children..." says Snake.
Yahweh looks at Snake.
" Hmmmmm.... that truly is an even more dumber thing than this.... whoever did that Snake?" asks Yahweh.
" You did...." says Snake as he continues staring into the distance. https://imgur.com/a/4gOOc
Executive Vegan Decisions (self.thebakerverse)
submitted just now * by Avocadoeagle
General Big Pieep Sahulo, Rear Admiral Bong Piep Mabuto and Air Marshal Lingus Moseko stand up in attention and salute as Field Marshall Angry Chicken enters the Operations Commander's Board room.
Admiral Gustav follows the Field Marshal along with DGMP (Director General Military Plans) Major General Mister Penis.
" Genelmen... take yo seatz..." " Pukak..." says the Field Marshal, as he sits down at the Principal seat.
Everyone takes their seats on the board room table and Major General Penis distributes mission briefs to all General officers.
" Genelmen...!" " Today we begin day one of Operation Turnip Redemption 3..." " I wud personally like to thank President Mugabe for lending me his finest officers, who have extensive experience, accumulated over decades of military service,in eating Cheetos and chugging Mountain Dews..."
" Genelmen... any questionz?" asks the Field Marshal.
Rear Admiral Bongo Piep Mobutu, looks at the other officers and then raises his hand.
" Sir wat about the mission name..." " We think that Operation Turnip Redemption 3 is too harsh a name for an operation of this scale..." says the Rear Admiral in a thick African accent.
Field Marshal Chicken is intrigued by the suggestion.
" Pukaaak..." " So what do you Gz have in mind...?!"
General Big Piep Sahulo looks at Air Marshal Lingus Moseko and then raises his hand.
" Yes General Big Piep..." says the Field Marshal.
" Sir weee have decided on two other names, which will fit the mission better and want you to decide which one to select..." says the General in a thick African accent.
" Go ahead..." says Field Marshal Angry Chicken.
Air Marshal Lingus Moseko gets up from his seat.
" Field Marshal Chicken, the two names we have considered are "Operation Pipe in Azz/ Smile on Face" or "Operation Pipe in Azz... Ohh Fuk... I lost all my savings in Bitcoin...!"
Field Marshal Angry Chicken listens to the suggestions made by the General officers.
Time is running out.... Which name to take.... Decisions...decisions... decisions...!
Things look tense👀...in the Operation Commander's Board Room. https://imgur.com/a/tRluu
The Canopus of Vegan Sin (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 1 day ago * by Avocadoeagle
Vegan Gnome always looks forward to 8:30 pm. It's that time of the night , when he places his sweet Christian butt cheeks on his toilet seat and takes a *vegan shit. ( * USDA approved - Organic Vegan Shit)
He also likes to solve cheeky vegan puzzles while he defecates.
Puzzle 32 F:
" What has two i's, two f's, walks and talks and loves your mother ?"
Vegan Gnome thinks for a few seconds. Aha....he got it..
" It's a woolly cashmere sweater.." says Vegan Gnome as he claps his hands in delight.
He goes to the answers page, at the end of the book.
He reads the answer:
" The answer to puzzle 32 F is a vicious vegan alien from the Super Giant star Canopus in the constellation Carina, 310 light years away, who will come to earth and shove his fist right up your azz!"
Vegan Gnome turns over the page and now tries to solve puzzle 36 DD.
" My name begins with a Q , I walk on two legs, and can catch a bird, fly and write rhymes, what am I ?"
This one is difficult. Vegan Gnome strains hard for this one.
Maybe.... Mmmmm..... Aha....
" It's the village postman !" says Vegan Gnome as he claps his hands in delight.
He hurriedly goes to the answers page at the end of the book.
Puzzle 36 DD.
He reads the answer:
" The answer to puzzle 36 DD, is Q-Zord, a vicious sodomite alien from the constellation Carina, who is coming to earth this very moment on the space battleship Zordus, to shove his entire three fingered alien fist up your vegan azz!"
( A few moments later...)
Vegan Gnome tucks himself into bed and gives Teddy a kiss. He switches off his bed side lamp. " Isn't life wonderful..." thinks Vegan Gnome as he drifts into sleep with a smile on his face.
Strange flashes of light are seen in the sky. The dogs in the neighborhood have started barking... https://imgur.com/a/L3Bie
This Cursed Jealousy (self.thebakerverse)
submitted 18 minutes ago by Avocadoeagle
Skeletor is 6'3. He has 23 inch biceps and 6 pack abs. He has a square chiseled jaw ( Quite literally ). All the chics dig Skeletor. Skeletor is also a great shooting guard for Eternia's High School Basketball team. Chic's love Skeletor.
Mumraa looks at his reflection in the putrid pool near his skull coffin.
Bad dental hygiene. Man tits. Weak muscles. Bad posture. Weak eyesight. Can't even walk straight. Incel. Women hate him. No access to titties.
Mumraa takes in a deep breath. Everyone tells him to lift bro...and be more confident around women, but he knows that doesn't work. He adopted a vegan lifestyle, workout out, went out for long walks with Mamut, did deep breathing exercises, yoga, Taichi, Gingseng Tea, protein shakes....
Fak! None of these shits help. Mumraa looks at his G shock watch. It's 9 am in the morning. Time to go back to sleep, as Mumraa stays awake all night watching reruns of " Full House" with Mamut.
Mumraa is lonely, Fak Skeletor!
Post Script: " Field Marshal do we have permission...?" asks Commodore Piep. Field Marshal Chicken nods his head.
Admiral Gustav is fired from the torpedo tube of a submarine straight into enemy territory.
A naked old man can be seen flying over the black pyramid, where Mumraa is changing into his pygamies and getting ready to sleep. https://imgur.com/a/GM5ou
I am by no means an expert on any of this, but I'd like to share what I know. submitted by
Specifically in terms of reddit those froggy fash are trying to get people to spill their guts and the authorities have a watchful eye. So browsing and using the internet more anonymously is a sound idea.
If you haven't already I'd suggest you familarize yourself with Security Culture.
If you haven't already I'd suggest you start looking into Social Engineering and how to fight against it like not feeding trolls info when you reply to them.
I'd suggest using Signal to communicate if you're using a smartphone.
I'd suggest finding out how to use PGP EMail.
I'd suggest you learn about using TOR and TAILS. Here I'd like to note that XKEYSCORE targets these so getting the TAILS ISO downloaded onto a thumbdrive on a public computer on public wifi that isn't linked to your identity or buy a hotspot with cash and use that.
I'd also suggest learning some basic Art of War type stuff like Shock and Awe or Dilberate vs Dynamic Entry. To know what the authorities are trying to do so you don't fall for their tricks.
I would suggest learning breathing exercises.
I would suggest learning some evasion tactics.
I would suggest learning some self defense.
I would suggest thinking about the nature of uneven warfare and how to take advantage.
I would suggest thinking about how to alter and operate in the material and social terrain so that it lends itself to our victory by does not comprimise our ethics.
I don't want to sound like an ancap here, but learn how to anonymously use and accept bitcoin so that we can network and support eachother with the funds without mapping our networks.
DO NOT JUST BE DEFENSIVE. DO NOT JUST BE REACTIVE. BE PROACTIVE!!! BE OFFENSIVLY DEFENSIVE!!!
Also do not forget infrastructure, emotional labour, reproductive labour, and so on.
Let's take care of ourselves and eachother so that we may actualize our desires and destroy those who would destroy that which we hold dear.
Cryptocurrency still needs a genius communicator who can explain what it is and how it works to the rest of us. “Crypto” (out now on Blu-ray, DVD and Digital) is a new thriller that hops ... Bitcoin is natively digital, it is not tied to a government ... a central bank expected to act in the public interest does not change the fundamental operation. If it does not make sense on a micro level, it does not magically transform into a different fundamental fact merely because there are greater degrees of separation. If no individual would bestow that power in another, neither would a ... ‹ Hackers plan to turn your Bitcoin INTO A BOMB! Operation Shock and Awe to bring massive DDOS and price drops to Bitcoin exchanges. › The Greatest Story Never Told. 2 Comments. Jordan Gifford April 23, 2013 @ 3:37 pm . Don’t worry. The BitCoiners will continue sucking Ron Paul’s dick and worshipping at the altar of Bitcoin. They’ll say that having “reservations” means that he ... Taking down exchangers is a simple money laundering operation. Investigate principals of all major bitcoin exchangers and holders for money laundering. Freeze all their assets in the process, causing the prices to crash. Make sure all the take downs are simultaneous to have the maximum shock and awe. Nothing makes people lose their faith in ... A much-hyped promised DDoS bitcoin attack on exchanges failed to materialize on Monday April 22. Learn more about the orchestrated bitcoin attack and why it failed.
Shock and Awe The Beginning of the 2003 Invasion of Iraq CNN Live Coverage TV Download ... Operation Desert Storm - CNN Live News Coverage - Part 1 - Duration: 2:00:49. HDiNDEMAND 227,615 views. 2 ... The air strike begins around 40:30 I can't stop the ads. This is a recording I made of CNN's coverage of the "Shock and Awe" campaign conducted at that time.... Live Reaction of The Saga of Tanya the Evil Manga Chapter 51 Remember to like, comment, share, and subscribe Donate to the Nerdigans Inc. Cash App: $Nerdigan... Air Force Explosions and Crashes - JSP Broadcast - It looks like the United States Air Force was practicing for Shock and Awe in Baghdad, Iraq. operation:shock and awe. Category News & Politics; Show more Show less. Loading... Autoplay When autoplay is enabled, a suggested video will automatically play next. Up next 2003: Iraq War begins ...